h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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This has a myriad of uses, going for a new job? if the guy
interviewing you is a half baker then your a shoe in. In
some
forgein land with no accomodation shake the hand of
another
half baker and you may have found yourself somwhere to
sleep for the night. It would also be a descreet way
of
finding
out if sombody you may have susspected is a half baker for
awhile is.
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Annotation:
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It's so secret that no one actually knows it. |
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you don't think I am going to tell you about mine, do you? |
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everyones a comedian, is that title a bit better? |
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Oh, is that the handshake where the right hands undulate towards each other like two horny porcupine fish, and after kneading each other's scalps, you both shrug your shoulders with palms up? |
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Mad, you're all mad, I tell you. I would make some kind of gesture, but then that would give the game away. |
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<still trying to get stains out>I certainly beats relying on exploding custard filled underwear</still trying to get stains out> |
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Zircon, could you rephrase that?
Farmer, you're half right on the secret handshake - sure, //hands undulate towards each other like two horny porcupine fish, and after kneading each other's scalps, you both shrug your shoulders with palms up// - but it's the left, not the right hands, *and* there's the matter of first scratching your chin with your right hand having been inserted under the upper garment - (important: yours) then protruding from the top and executing the back-of-hand-on-chin finger wiggle while flapping left hand with left thumb in ear (all of this prior to the horny porcupine fish move) - Only fair to point out that I, too neglected to mention dancing the jig |
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Where do you find details on this secret handshake. If its
as thumbwax describes then if you are infact going for a
job and you proceed with the said handshake and the
interviewer is unaware of the existance of the halfbakery
then I doubt you will be getting the job, I was thinking of
somthing a little more subtle like shaking hands while
pressing your middle finger into the others wrist then
clicking your fingers as you take your hand away. |
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keep it simple like [thumbwax] says |
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There could be an idea in that RT a pizza/laundry, you
could sit and have a pizza, actually it would be better as a
coffee shop while your washing goes through its cycle. |
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Nice I like it alot, I give that a croissant even though I
can't really, perfect for a backpacker. |
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Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Whow leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Whot keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do! |
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Are you in the right idea, sweetie? |
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//if the guy interviewing you is a half baker then your a shoe in.// |
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Not with spelling like that.
Also, if the interviewer recognises you as a fellow 'baker then he/she will realise that your productivity may be severely compromised by your addiction. |
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That's what I was thinking, too, [madradish]. |
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[The Kat] - yep, those are lyrics to the Stonecutter's Song. I thought posting those would identify other Simpsons fans, much like the handshake concept. |
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If you want it done fast, just do it half-assed, because that's the American way. </simpsons sing along> |
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You can sing this while performing the secret handshake:
Everywhere we go-O
People want to knO-ow
Who we A-are
So we tell them
Who are
Who are
Who are we?
We are, we are, we are...
Halfbakers
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Almost weekly I am shocked and alarmed by the constantly growing Simpsons infestation taking over the bakery. Something must be done before it is too late. |
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What do you suggest? A no-homers club? |
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Ah but [Waugs], no one shakes like Homer. Mmm. |
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Come on, *you* don't know the secret HB handshake? Newbie. |
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Come now, there must be some way to actually accomplish this. Say, a casual, half-closed left fist pressed gently against the left temple during a standard handshake? I want something that is at least half-sensible. Or perhaps just forming the thumb and fingers of the left hand into a gentle, palm-inward crescent by arching the fingers slightly and bunching them up, with the thumb in the middle. Help me out here. |
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Just remember to wash your hands afterwards. |
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I suggest L-dopamine to combat this problem. |
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