nailtraits

Nailtraits are designed to satisfy the needs of those who have outstanding DIY tasks in hand, but somehow never get round to completing them.

Each nail has a little sculpted head on the top of it, fashioned from lead, or a similar soft metal. When you open the box of nails, you are greeted by hundreds of little heads, designed so that they peer up, in anticipation of the inevitable flattening blow from a descending hammer.

Apart from the obvious political pundits, one of my own current favourites would be what I call: "The House Make-Over Cheery Mandarin" range. Through television it is they who have fuelled the very DIY mania, that has in turn created the need for this product in the first place. Justice will therefore be done. A glancing blow would cause the head of one of these irritating dweebs to be reduced to an oval shaped pancake, their chirpy features still evident, but diminished to a grey smear that easily blends into the general patina of an aged floor board.

If inclined, a line of these could be pounded flat, inked up and printed, the results being enlarged, framed and exhibited.