h a l f b a k e r yCrust or bust.
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Wine is usually kept in cellars, so as to maintain a constant temperature etc. etc.
This is fine if you live in a proper house with proper wine cellars but unfortunately some people choose to live in sub-standard accommodation, lacking such essentials as wine cellars, servants' staircases, and stables.
Then
they put their wine in a wine rack or shelf in the kitchen or living room where it suffers swings of temperature etc.
However logic dictates that it is likely that some place inside or outside of the building will approximate an appropriate temperature etc. at any given time.
Therefore the solution is obvious. Mount the wine rack on wheels, give it a basic navigation and temperature sensors, and let it roam around the house seeking the perfect conditions for its cargo.
[link]
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// let it roam around the house seeking the perfect conditions // |
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It might collide with the baby grand piano which is trying to do the same thing. |
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They would have big soft rubber bumpers, obviously |
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Flocks of migratory wine racks, heading up the M6 in search of coolth. |
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Coming back from a winter holiday, when you'd switched off the central heating, you find the furniture of the house huddled around the old hearth. |
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There's an awkward silence when you wonder out loud where they got the fuel. Then the grandfather clock clears its throat: |
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"You remember balloon debates? Well ... " |
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In French country music, despondent songs will be sung about one's wine leaving. |
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//French country music// I thought of typing this into Google to find out if such a thing actually exists, but I couldn't bring myself to actually do it. |
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