h a l f b a k e r yNot the Happy Cuddle Club.
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Whilst standing in a queue for my local bank cashpoint, the person in front of me received a call on their mobile phone, and left the queue to answer it.
Noticing this, I conceived of a device, which by the use of mobile phone and/or bluetooth proximity push advertising technology makes a single call
to each of the nearest five nearest mobile phones.
The device flips through the numbers and when it rings a mobile in front of me in the queue, I merely press a button and they get the full call, which is a 45 second sound recording of a lot of static interlaced with unidentifiable fragments of speech.
So, the owner of such a device gets to gain rapid access to the cashpoint, toilet cubicle at [insert name of music festival] or space at a crowded bar without unseemly jostling, so preserving good manners.
I have had a look and it doesn't seem to figure on HB (but I could be wrong) I'm sure I'll find out quite soon.
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hmmmmm - how does it find the five nearest mobile phones (or are you relying on people having bluetooth turned on all the time?)? - and then how does it find these phones' numbers? |
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Is it not simpler just to set fire to the tail of their coat, like everyone else does ? |
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It's likelier that the person will remain in the queue, take
their turn at the cashpoint, and be slower about it because
they are trying to understand the unintelligible voice on the
phone... |
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Discreetly give the person two ahead of you a
provocative pat on the posterior and watch them
fight it out with the person in front of you. |
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//There's a lot about this idea that I don't understand.// |
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I can't explain gravity either, so that's me and Stephen Hawking. Sadly, that the only time are names are likely to end up in same sentence. |
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//can't hear one side's juicy details.//
I'm not that bothered, but I have got a bit bored of "'ello....'ello...yeah, I'm on a train.....do you want me to get some bread?" which obviously could be about anything really... |
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//It will show you every Bluetooth capable device within a 30-ft radius// |
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For the evil purposes of the device, that would have been just fine. |
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//Get over yourself.//
Cuts to Ted Striker in Airplane.."I'll never be over.." |
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Final post on this topic, I'm now off the cashpoint with my flameproof overalls... |
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// Either way, you aren't included.//
I don't think it's about being included, 21Q. I think it's about being able to make sense of what is going on. |
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Doesn't seem to me to be good manners to game someone elses politeness. |
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So I propose a counter-device, which through mobile phone and/or bluetooth technology broadcasts five premium numbers (charging whatever the maximum allowable fee is), and plays an alternative ringtone whenever they're called. |
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