h a l f b a k e r y"It would work, if you can find alternatives to each of the steps involved in this process."
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
Please log in.
Before you can vote, you need to register.
Please log in or create an account.
|
When one commuting cyclist overtakes another on the
road, a covert glance passes between them in which they
size each other up, gauging such variables as age and
gender, and a host of factors relating to how fancy the
other's bicycle is. This judgement is used to assess
whether it is a 'worthy'
overtake, demonstrating your
physical prowess, or whether it is nothing to be proud of.
This idea then is to fit one's bicycle with
something that looks like a bulky child-seat with a heavy
toddler in, but which is in fact a super-realistic carbon
fibre shell, weighing only a couple of hundred grams.
Then, when you effortlessly glide past your lycra-clad
opponent on a steep uphill incline, they will feel suitably
crushed.
Annual_20child_20lacquering
[calum, Jun 28 2019]
[link]
|
| |
"...but which is in fact a super-realistic carbon fibre
shell..."
...containing batteries for your concealed motor. |
|
| |
<psst - [hippo] - typo in title> |
|
| |
That's not a typo.... It's a speedy light eight,
meaning it doesn't have the 'w' to slow it down. |
|
| |
// your concealed motor. // |
|
| |
Now, that clears up a mystery; [hippo] is operated by a concealed motor - animatronics - rather than the arm-up-the-posterior muppet-type operation which seemed the previous most likely explanation. |
|
| |
Some of the energy could also be used by a hub motor fitted to the bicycle. |
|
| |
oops - typo now untypofied |
|
| |
Aghhhh it was more fun without the 'w'. W's should get a day off every now and again. |
|
| |
You don't need an expensive carbon fibre child, just use the
shell from some earlier lacquering of the child. This will
preserve the familial likeness and so enhance verisimilitude. |
|
| |
Actually, it's now possible to have your (preferably deceased)
pets freeze-dried in lifelike poses. Should work for children. |
|
| |
[calum] and [MB] have suggested a further improvement. |
|
| |
Take an existing child and remove the operating mechanism, leaving just the skin. Treat this with a flexible polymer compound. |
|
| |
The unit can then be attached to the "child seat" in a deflated state; when wishing to impress other riders, a pushbutton activates a small air pump which inflates the skin to normal size. |
|
| |
Once the overtake is complete, the pump reverses, deflating the skin until it is next required, and reducing air resistance. |
|
| |
Children are plentiful, cheap, and easy to produce, so this seems by far the most cost -effective solution. |
|
| |
Note that the carbon-fibre moulding techniques can also be employed to produce a super-lightweight facsimile of a large sack of onions, to complement the
beret-resembling bicycle helmet you're wearing and your stripy t-shirt. |
|
| |
//it's now possible to have your (preferably deceased) pets freeze-dried in lifelike poses// |
|
| |
Am I the only one who finds this horrific? |
|
| |
<Decides that [Voice], freeze-dried in a lifelike pose, would look quite good over in that corner between the Brough Superior and the cutaway Wright Twin Wasp/> |
|
| |
Cue audio of [8th] giving birth. |
|
| |