h a l f b a k e r yNaturally, seismology provides the answer.
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Should be made of semolina, surely? |
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Good, but somewhat power-hungry. |
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laser security field like you see in the movies... by the time they limbo their way through, dinner's ready and they have an appetite. |
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Get a bunch of those foam fingers you see at sports events ("we're number one!") and tape them to the walls on each side of the doorway so they point horizontally across the opening, overlapping each other all the way down, one pointing left, the next to the right, and so on. |
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On second thought, this would probably make the kids just want to run through the doorway over and over and over... |
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Make them out of fairy floss. (JesUSistan: cotton candy) |
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What about installing a secret door...like a revolving bookcase or a sliding fireplace, that is activated by lifting a candle or tilting a certain book on the shelf...you could wait until no one is looking, open the secret door and enter the solace of a completely kid free kitchen...cook, read, dream, invent, toast, boil...what ever to your heart's content...the, cheking through a secret pericsope to spy the area adjacent to the secret door, to make sure no one will see where you cand the dinner came from, re-enter the house, place the vittle on the dining table, ring the triangle calling them to dinner....you would be amazing. |
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If there were books, I might not come
back
out, and the children would be hungry. |
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Lovely image, though. There was a big
oak tree outside the parlor of my
parents house when I was a kid. When
seen through a particular window at
dusk, the door to the kitchen was
superimposed on the tree. I always
imagined the inside of the tree to be
like something you describe, a kitchen
with no one in it, a table, a book shelf,
a globe, a case of maps ... |
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arrange the children's homework on the kitchen table while cooking and you are ensured of some solo "quality time" |
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When I was a child we had an imaginary door. If I went through it while it was closed, I got a spanking. I never went through the door again. |
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Spanking them isn't usually necessary -
it's not an open defiance thing, one of my
kids is usually thinking of six things at
once, and she forgets. I can empathize
with that. |
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Wait a minute, so it's okay to cut children off from your ever valued presence? Is not the pain of separation unbearably cruel? [marked-for-temporary-spite] |
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// Is not the pain of separation unbearably cruel? // |
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Yes, of course, otherwise what's the point ? |
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I mother had a way to do this. It was a simple phrase delivered at
maximum volume as soon as we entered the house. "Stay outta
the kitchen I just washed the floor." No one ever checked the
floor to see if she had washed it either. We took her word for it. |
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