h a l f b a k e r yMake mine a double.
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I live in the country, and garbage pickup is
only once a week. This means that I have
to carry table scraps some considerable
distance from my house if I don't want
raccoons and opossums and dogs and cats
and armadillos rooting around in my trash
cans.
Yes, I could kill them, but I don't.
So
what I really need is a way to shoot the
scraps into the woods with a pneumatic
cannon built into my house. The cannon
would tilt a few degrees up and down and
would be equipped with a scale to
determine the weight of the scraps. Then
I could land the scraps in approximately
the same location in the woods.
Since the scraps would eventually stink up
the cannon, an ice sabot or shell would be
needed. This could be made with a mould
in the freezer, or could be made with a
purpose-built contraption.
Ideally, the shell could be made of a
biodegradable material that would turn to
compost with the rest of the scraps. Then
it could be formed in the shape of a
proper shell.
If the cannon were sufficiently adjustable,
I could throw in a handful of acorns or
other seeds to promote the growth of
deciduous trees (I'm in pine tree country,
and I get tired of the same thing all the
time), or feed the birds or deer some
sunflower seeds or corn.
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Damn, sounds like fun. What part of the country do you live in? |
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"ELEVATE TO 25 DEGREES - FIRE ONE!" |
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Myself, I freeze mine and take them scuba diving. |
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Do they enjoy that? I hope you get them proper training first. |
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The scrap cannon could be built around freezing the scraps in a bullet-shaped mold. Fill it all the way up with any mix of scraps and water (and seeds-good idea), and the density is probably not going to vary much from shell to shell. The ice will serve as lube in the cannon tube, although some care should be taken to keep bones buried in the middle of the mold. |
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The icy-on-the-outside projectile wouldn't need a wrapper or sabot. But, in case you haven't twigged, it would be very close to Pykrete, the fiber-reinforced ice. You might want to be careful where you aim. [+] |
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The problem with this idea is that you might hit animals munching on the previous round. |
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Sounds great, I can't see it catching on in the more metropolitan areas though - Sometimes I wish I lived in the country. |
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I used to fire all of my scraps down into a ravine when I lived in the toolies where racoons and bears were a problem. Worked great. |
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Compost. Please. Furthermore this is a gross abuse of NIMBY. |
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RISEBY = "Rather in somebody else's back yard" ? |
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// The problem .... is that you might hit animals // |
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You have a strange idea of what constitutes a problem. |
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//hit animals munching on the previous
round// |
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There's a giant gong in the woods
suspended from the middle and parallel
with the ground. Nothing can stay on it
and it makes a fantastic noise when you
hit it. |
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" ... and I told them that Queequag
actually represented the Church as a
way of steering Ishmael away from ... |
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"Excuse me, dear, let me just get rid of
these scraps" |
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... steering him away from the desire
from actual gratification by sublimating
it into a "healthy" relationship, rather
than a genteel presentation of the the
thing itself. Which is based on
fundamentally misguided notions of the fallibility of |
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//If the cannon were sufficiently adjustable, I could throw in a handful of acorns or other seeds to promote the growth of deciduous trees // |
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I salute you, General Appleseed! |
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