i know who you dialed last lunchbreak

This is a touch pad telephone that has a number of special and painful functions. If you dial a number in a certain order, as you reach the last digit on the touch pad enough electricity will be sent into your body, via finger, to throw you across the room or make your hair stand up in a comical fashion. If the user spends too long on the phone, a timing device will activate a squirting mechanism to spray ink onto the user's business shirt or blouse.

These phones can be installed around the office to prevent unnecessary calls and can also be pre programmed to cause injury or staining no matter what number is dialed. If this happens, inform them it is just in need of repair and hurry back to the lunchroom.