Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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homemade coal

 where there's muck there's brass
 
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Although throwing organic household waste onto a compost heap is admirable, it could instead be put into a well insulated hole in the garden. Then by applying a suitably heavy weight on top (say a pile of bricks), this should give the same conditions that gave us coal, oil & gas, but at an accelerated rate due to the weight/insulation. These could then be periodically mined, making the household self-sufficient for fuel.

Also any pets/members of the household that die could also be thrown in the hole, turning them into fossils which could make for decorative wall hangings.

—slancaster, May 14 2001

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       Alternatively you could burn all your household waste in a big bonfire, and with addition of some combustible liquid (e.g. petrol/gasoline/vodka) create your own mini-Sun and then run your house on solar power, even when it's cloudy.
—Bedford Van, May 14 2001
   

       Seems like a good idea until you remember that Coal take Thousands of years at unimaginable pressures to develope.   

       To get the same effect in you back garden the only viable way I could come up with to provide the required pressure would be to land the moon on top of your house.   

       And as it would take a couple of thousand years to work out how to get the moon off again, that would give the waste plenty of time to turn into coal.
—CasaLoco, May 14 2001
   

       What CasaLoco said. A pile of bricks and a few years is no substitute for geological pressures and timescale.   

       You'd be better off harvesting methane from the compost heap and burning that (this is Baked).
—egnor, May 14 2001
   

       Dick Cheney would love the idea of homemade coal. Big Time.   

       But the "Moon on Your House" is so very engaging. Think of the possibllities for this one. Of course, you can't be in the house when the moon is there, but . . .
—bobzaguy, May 14 2001
   
      
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