h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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Ive heard the reason high divers strive to land head first is
because landing feet first risks water flowing up ones rectum
and doing internal damage.
I belive this can easily be rectified by making a a special
plang for ones rectum tat with a a lip oh hilt that not only
prevents water from
rushing in but also prevents the device
from being forced into onself.
[link]
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//a a special plang for ones rectum tat with a a lip oh hilt// That's exactly what I was thinking. |
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I would suggest that such devices already exist, made for other purposes, but I'll leave it to others to search. |
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The problem of involuntary high-velocity enemas is a field in which we are thankfully entirely uninformed, and we choose to view our avowed ignorance in such matters as a benefit rather than a disadvantage. |
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//a a special plang for ones rectum tat with a a lip oh hilt// |
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This is some kind of old English no? Welsh perhaps? What a
pretty language. Even makes a butt-plug sound elegant. |
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//plang// is a rice-ball in some dialects of Malay. |
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Incidentally, in Googling, I came across a page explaining the effects of underwater explosions on divers. The deeply-researched article gives the following advice on how to minimize the risk from underwater explosions: "Avoid diving in areas where explosions are possible." I think that was government research money well-spent. |
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Thank you ever so much [bob]. One had been wondering how to resolve this issue for some time. I will make an appointment at my nearest rectal plang centre forthwith. There is probably one at Tesco's Chester one imagines. But knowing one's luck they probably don't stock the flanged variety. |
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Try Sainsburys off the A55, they have a very good selection, quite reasonably priced, including both the flanged ones and the ones with the rounded disc base, which are much more comfortable. |
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This is also a problem for jetski riders. I was horrified to read in the owner's manual that Neoprene wetsuit pants are recommended for just this reason. Also, women would need a vagina plug. |
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Too ... much ... information. |
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We consider it entirely possible that you are in some way anatomically anomalous, [IT]. |
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In fact, that's by far the most likely explanation. |
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This is so far out there, I don't even know what to say, gives
me the willies, it does. Hahahaha...just had to say that to
Ian. Hahahaha. |
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I'm not going to make the joke about "why do women skydivers wear knickers?" (the answer to which is "so they don't whistle"), because that would be vulgar. |
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I've analyzed this post several times, and I must say, reached
the say bum conclusion each time. |
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Makes me wonder about those trick skiiers who sit
upon the water from time to time. Well, actually it
makes me want to forget about them, but unable to. |
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I could have benefited from this when going down a
certain waterslide several years ago. |
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I would have thought you'd be keener that those who
went down the waterslide immediately before you had
benefited from this |
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Actually, no, because if you think carefully about what happens when .... |
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<sound of running boots receding into distance> |
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[+] because it would finally give me a pseudo-
legitimate reason to buy a butt plug even though I'm
not a diver. |
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Place the plug on the top shelf, attached to a short-delay timed tipping mechanism. Lay prone on the floor underneath. |
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