h a l f b a k e r yStrap *this* to the back of your cat.
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The cell phone mocking bird is a tiny
speaker/synth/microphone/computer chip/motion detector
unit that can be placed in the bag or on the clothes of your
target.
Using Evil Technology(tm) it listens and imitates the sound of
their cell phone or beeper.
Then it rings at random intervals.
If they get too close to
finding it the unit it stops right away. Much searching and
shuffling will result-- and confusion at the off/non ringing REAL
cell phone.
After the 10th time doing this it starts snickering at the
person in a mocking fashion just after it rings a few times.
Birdcalls and Cellphones.
http://www.cellmann...ews/researchers.htm
[Guncrazy, Feb 24 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]
The Australian Lyre Bird
http://www.webrevie...2001/06_22_01.shtml
"If a Lyre Bird can learn to imitate the click and whir of a camera, the buzz of a chain saw, the roar of a motorcycle, and the ring of a cell phone, it can certainly learn some of the simpler Internet protocols." [hippo, Feb 26 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]
[link]
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mm, I think the Evil Technology (tm) has legs. What else can it do? |
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Isn't this baked already with real birds? I remember reading an article that said that mockingbirds are starting to incorporate the trills of cell phones and beepers into their songs. And parrots and macaws have been doing this sort of thing for ages. |
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My psittacine makes a noise which I'm pretty sure is an
imitation of the noise that a lot of car alarms make when
you turn them on/off with a keyfob. |
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good thing I don't have a mobile... |
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I love this. Unfourtunately, Knowing yuppies, it'll become the fashion to have a randomly ringing phone, and to have your bag snicker at you (whilst sitting in your swishg car drinking some travesty performed on coffee beans and soy products, whilst driving to your hip up-market multimedia upgraded new-age designed fancy shmancy job. But still, one for you. |
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Mephista: there's plenty of ways to harass people that are still legal. Admittedly, do anything too often and you'll be accused of stalking, but within those parameters (i.e. if you don't get caught), try hiring cheap and out-of-work actors to follow them to bus stops or railway stations and engage them in conversations about gravel. |
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Or change your name to their name and go to all the places they go. Or sprinkle sugar on their doorstep. Or put fake personal messages professing your love for them in as many newspapers as you can find. Or sell a range of t-shirts depicting their face in various silly poses. Or drive really slowly in front of their car, scrupulously observing all traffic regulations. Or project an image of them on the toilet onto a sail suspended high in the earth's ionosphere. |
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Or send them hundreds of postcards depicting gruesome Renaissance paintings of the martyrdom of saints. Or walk behind them muttering, and stop every time they turn round. |
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Or train your cat to shit in their mailbox. Since everyone knows you can't train cats to do anything, you're sure to get away with it. |
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I have heard a mockingbird in a Florida park do a flawless car alarm. |
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well, it wouldn't make much of a difference for my family, because we rarely find the phone before it hangs up or goes to voicemail...but i love anything evil, so + |
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I've heard mockingbirds do beeping alarm clocks as well. I'd love to have a mockingbird car alarm. |
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