Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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emergency egress

Emergency egress system for large airliners
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Redesign the superstructure of large, commercial aircraft to allow entire rows of passengers to be ejected outboard. Perhaps some rail-like arrangement upon which rows of seats are placed. In the event of an emergency these railed-rows could be rocketed side-ways away from the axis of the plane, and deploy a large parachute. Perhaps some inflateable floatation device could be packaged as well, for emergencies over water.
boarish1, Apr 22 2001

Ballistic Recovery Systems http://www.airplaneparachutes.com/
Max load seems to be 750kg at 138mph [maffu, Apr 22 2001]

[link]






       Oh God... please don't make those boring "pre-flight safety speeches" any longer. "In the event we need eject you from the plane, the nearest bulkhead will rip from the aircraft and your seat will become airborne. While descending to the ocean please take care in not slamming into any of the other 350 passengers also flailing about. Once in the ocean, your seat cusion has a concealed knife for cutting your own parachute."
andrewkorbel, Apr 22 2001
  

       I would start hoping for a problem if I knew something like this might happen. Given the choice of being involved in an airliner crash and a parachuting crash...I will take the parachute every time.
blahginger, Apr 22 2001
  

       While your idea is properly in the halfbakery, very similar ideas are baked. Many small aircraft (mostly ultralights, which are craft less than 254 lbs. in the U.S.) use a system called BRS (Ballistic Recovery(?) System) which is essentially a parachute for the whole plane. I think these same guys are working on something that would work for a 747, but you can imagine the difficulties.
Monkeylawyer, Apr 22 2001
  

       You represent any of the Flying Monkeys?
thumbwax, Apr 22 2001
  

       A plane breaking up like that would be spectacular to watch, although not from directly underneath of course.
Aristotle, Apr 23 2001
  

       How big would the parachute be for a thing the size of a 747?? get out your calculators, people.
pipp, Apr 23 2001
  

       A Royal Navy Sea Harrier pilot of my acquaintance suffered engine failure just after the catapult had launched him from an aircraft carrier, so he ejected at an altitude of 9 feet, and landed safely on the deck.
(Incidentally, he always told his trainees 'If I say "eject", don't ask why because you'll be talking to yourself'.)
angel, Apr 26 2001
  

       "Now boarding Cheapo Airlines flight 666 non-stop New York to Los Angeles with passenger arrivals at Washington D.C., Chicago, St. Louis, Dallas, Santa Fe and Las Vegas. Those passengers not flying to Los Angeles are reminded to be sure they're in the correct row of seats."
phoenix, Jun 22 2001
  

       pipp: The model rocket calculators suggest 500m diameter. =8-o   

       If you're doing 500mph though, you'd want several stages, shirley, otherwise you just rip the tail off.   

       What about a Mars-lander style bubble jacket? Filled with helium?   

       How much weight can you drop off a plane once you're committed? Trent 900 (for a 777?) engines are about 2x5400kg. It's still going to be over 150t. 8-/
maffu, Sep 16 2001
  
      
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