h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Doctor toilet would be a standard toilet with some technology added: namely, the ability to take samples from urine and stools deposited there, and pass on to the depositor some idea of their state of health. It could also warn them of dietary problems and impending illnesses.
It would be able to administer
a stern telling-off when it detected that you were suffering a hangover, too.
rear-end rainbows
http://www.halfbake...Rear-end_20rainbows
Baby version. [egnor, Jun 30 2000, last modified Oct 17 2004]
BBC News Story
http://news.bbc.co....1433000/1433904.stm
Baked! [hippo, Jun 30 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]
NY Times Story
http://www.nytimes....5062&partner=GOOGLE
Baked also in Japan, search for "health" in story. Lots of other wacky toilet ideas here. [krelnik, Oct 21 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]
[link]
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It would determine your weight and issue recommendations for food and exercise. |
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I'm told (and I believe it too) that the most common place to have a heart attack is on the toilet. Can you imagine the scene as some poor attendant has to cart away another dead body whilst the toilet chirpily declares over and over "You are dead. Seek attention immediately". I think it's a winner. |
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This could be a good idea. It also could be used by that already effective team of physician, HMO, and government (or physician, insurance company, and government for anyone fortunate enough to have that type of insurance) to micromanage your life for you- example:
"Mr. Smith, your stool sample indicates that you have consumed too much dietary fat this week. We are putting you on a mandatory low-fat diet, and you must come here and have your stool tested weekly for the next six months..."
Of course, the urine sample can provide drug use information- and, since we now treat tobacco like it's heroin, although keeping it legal, this would allow real control over an individual's lifestyle. Mandatory treatments, cancellation of insurance- And one other example of a problem. Can't eating a baked good with poppy seeds in it result in a "false positive" for opium in a drug test? My God, poppy seed baked goods sales will plummet! Consider the plight of the lowly baker...
Seriously, these toilets would be in health care facilities, not at home where it might warn one of blood in the stool, which is a good purpose for it. And if a person drinks and gets a hangover, what good will it do to have "Dr. John" give you a stern talking to?
A darn good idea technologically, but I see it being used to generate income for the HMO's, physicians, etc. And ultimately a police-like advantage, as well. All that from a lowly toilet... Whod'a thunk? |
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Sounds like fiction? Not at all. Apparently a number of Japanese companies already do this to check up that employees are conforming with their no drugs, no alcohol policy. Scarey! |
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See my totally co-incidental "Rainbow rear-ends" - the same idea for similar - 'butt smaller' ends. |
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Per is correct. The Japanese toilet is to be web-connected. |
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Personally I don't want my toilet broadcasting BORIS HAD A B.M. over the internet; also I find myself strangely disturbed over the thought of hackers gaining entry to my toilet. |
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I gave a neighbor/friend/Doctor of mine a miniature bar stool. Told him it was a 'stool sample'. He used it as an icebreaker for otherwise uninterested patients who needed to present very real samples. A year later he and 4 other Doctors were on 60 Minutes talking about the collapse of the Health Care System due to Government requirements. He retired within a year, shortly after bell caroling us for Christmas Eve again, moved the family back to the Midwest, sold the home. Upon the pretext of taking care of other matters, he committed suicide just 50 yards away from my home by overdosing on the very same medication he prescribed me in small prescription fills [as they were quite powerful and he said he didn't want anything to happen to me]. Our ever Invasive Government preys upon and destroys the weak from all walks of life. I haven't been to a Doctor in 10 years. |
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hippo, I especially like the quote:
Mr Wooliscroft went on: "We also want to link to the local supermarket. |
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Yes - when you arrive at the supermarket and the manager's standing outside holding a big box of bran and a packet of prunes you know there's something wrong. |
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A girl I used to know came up with an idea for "diagnostic cat litter" - same general idea (maybe she'd been reading the halfbakery?). Don't think she ever followed up on it, though. Seemed like a good idea to me... |
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