h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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dirty soap
lather, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat.... | |
The science on this one is a little shaky, I admit, but there IS a patent for printing on soap, so...
Manufacture bars of soap in layers with each layer bearing a different nudie pic. Every week or so, your bar would wear down to expose a new minipinup.
US Patent 6,136,764 (1998)
http://www.google.c...AAAAEBAJ&dq=6136764
Embedded image layer in soap. [jutta, Jan 20 2008]
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<blatant plagurism> How long has that "e" been missing in your life? </bp> |
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And how long before a customer gets the telling alkaline burn in their urethra? Stick with the pack of nudie playing cards you have hidden under your mattress. |
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I challenge you to a game of nudie Texas hold'em |
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Tempting as that may be, I think your definition of "Hold-em" may not apply to the two cards dealt. |
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Could this include a text with each picture that said, "And now wash your hands, you dirty little sod" ? |
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Will soap wear regularly enough for this to work? Badly mixed layers of half-worn soap will help construct whole new genres of mutant soft porn. |
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Bars of soap wear away in fairly predicatble ways, starting out with sharp edges, becoming progressively more rounded, and then the sharp edges reappearing as the soap approaches its near-final "sliver" state. At this point it often undergoes dimensional collapse (failing mechanically in the Z-plane) and fragmenting. |
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Given enough iterations fo soap erosion, it should be possible to generate a predictive model for the general case. However, the very presence of an image may, in a Heisenbergian way, affect the erosion pattern; if a sufficently salacious image is revealed, the soapee may elect to preferentially erode the opposite face to preserve the revealed image. |
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In these days of equality, it seems a reasonable presumption that alternate faces of a shared bar of soap could reveal images attractive to males and females; however, this would proabably result in one face eroding faster than the other, depending on the propensity for washing.
To preserve fairness, male/male and female/female soap should be avalaible for those if same-sex relationships. We do not consider that we have enough data to address the complex issue of a menage-a-trois. |
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How will you sell the miraculous appearance of the virgin mary's visage on your bar of soap, given that some of the image shows genitalia? |
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And, //new genres of mutant soft porn.// has got to be the best thong I have heard this year! |
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Presumably by Divine Intervention ..... will someone PLEASE make the "hope in her soul" joke, the suspense is killing us .... |
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