h a l f b a k e r yGetting blown into traffic is never fun.
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Picture the innocent child who runs into the street only to be struck down be a driver who never saw them coming. Even bad drivers have had this image drilled into there little pea brains. This device plays on this primal fear in order to get drivers to slow down on neighborhood streets.
Instead
of those portable radar signs letting drivers know how fast they are going- this device would link a hidden radar gun to a ball cannon located strategically down the road.
The balls could be low cost play balls- the brightly colored kind you see in stores for $2.00 so losing one would not be cost prohibitive. (unlike my other thought of launching a million dollar cruise missle up the tailpipe of the speeding jerk as he disappears down the road). They should be large enough and have enough mass to create a loud thump for the truly brain dead driver.
When the ball shoots into the road, the driver slams on his brakes and slinks off in a sweaty pool of "what if it were real" once he realizes he has been had.
For drivers who dont stop, the balls could be powder coated to leave a tell tale mark like the dye-packs they drop in money bags during bank robberies.
If the slamming of breaks results in a tailgater running into the back of the target, all the better. If the second car was close enough to hit the front car he was both following too closely and speeding. (if this were not the case, the front car would be pulling away from the back car)
Heart attacks are also a potential side benefit by reducing the bad driver count by one for the length of their recovery time.
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\\ When the ball shoots into the road, the driver slams on his breaks (sic) // |
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....skids, mounts the kerb, and kills a real child? |
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Pete the ten year old: "Gee Scott, I'm bored."
Scott the ten year old: "Yeah, this neighbourhood sucks. There's nothing too do."
Pete: "Hey look! A neat ball just flew out from the sidewalk!First one there gets to keep it..."
(HONK!HONK! SKREECH! **CRASH**)
Scott: "Damn, now Pete's under that truck there's gonna be even *less* to do this summer." |
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How fast does a car need to be going in order to skid completly off the road- we could mitigate this by creating a safety fence of parked cars with a meshed fence between them. |
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Or we could punt the automatic radar trigger all together and go with a shoulder launched version so you could see if any real kids were around |
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Besides- I never liked little pete anyway |
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A nice whimsical alternative to
traffic lights - a red ball bounces
into the road, so you stop; A green
ball bounces into the road and you
go. |
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When I see a child run into the road, I always stop. Because there might be a ball following him. |
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How about a runaway baby carriage with catapulting crash-test baby? |
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I think we should just let our kids
run out into the road. This will
slow traffic and teach them a good
lesson! |
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When I see a ball rolling into the road I
run straight over it to get that satisfying
'POP'. |
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