Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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cellphone lipservice

 When you need a little lipservice.
 
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Roger collapsed on the hard bed. It had been a long flight, and the conference was going to drag on for another three days. He pulled out his cellphone, and the new gizmo he and his wife had exchanged for Valentine's Day.
"Hi hon."
"Hon..., it's 4:30 in the morning here."
"Sorry. Just needed to hear your voice. Wanna try out our new toys?"
"Ummmph... hang on, let me plug it into the phone jack."

Roger also plugged in his mobile lips into the jack, and waited for the 'lipservice' light to come on, to indicate that the modem had established a connection. The lips, mouth, and tongue were fashioned from a mold of Lisa's mouth, covering the mechanism itself, a combination of positioning sensors, electro-active polymers, and conventional clockwork, controlled by the CKU (cental kissing unit), and given input from the partner's unit via the modem.

They kissed for what seemed like hours, even though only a few minutes had gone by. When Roger finally pulled away, the unit sensed no more input and the modem switched back to 'talk' mode.

"Thanks dear, that was wonderful."
"You know, you can use the record button next time, and you wouldn't have to wake me up..."
"I know, but it just isn't the same."

—RayfordSteele, Jul 08 2002

And if gets too hot and steamy, you can plug in one of these... http://www.halfbake...i_20sexual_20device
[DrCurry, Oct 04 2004]

Utopex: MagicTongue™ http://www.utopex.c...en/MagicTongue.html
Internet, not cellphone, not molded, not two-way, and most of all, not really intended for a mouth. [jutta, Jun 29 2005]

"Japanese boffins build internet kissing machine" http://www.theregis...et_kissing_machine/
Kind of baked [hippo, May 03 2011]


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Annotation:







       I've heard of phone sex, but phone porn? Give me a break!
—DrCurry, Jul 08 2002
   

       I very much doubt this'd be anything like kissing even a very unattractive dry-mouthed person.
—pottedstu, Jul 08 2002
   

       Might get an ear infection, let alone infection other places
—thumbwax, Jul 08 2002
   

       i swear i thought the title said "cellophane kissing lips attachment" and liked it. i imagined a lip-cover as protection from herpes or when you have to kiss aunt maude's hairy cheek...if this idea's not baked i think i shall post it.
—miss fern, Jul 08 2002
   

       Nothing heats things up like worrying about my cellphone minute count.
—polartomato, Jul 08 2002
   

       Time to update your service plan there, frozentomato - a month ago I updated mine which stays the same financially *but* gives me 3000 minutes. In fact, it's even cheaper to have 10 times as many minutes since I don't go over...
—thumbwax, Jul 09 2002
   

       It's the gsm nimf-slot, keep up the good work?
—postseti, Jul 09 2002
   

       1-900 services plus AI.
—Ouroborus, Jun 01 2006
   

       Interesting story on oral haptics in today's Register - see link
—hippo, May 03 2011
   

       And now its on a Big Bang Theory episode...
—RayfordSteele, Jan 10 2016
   


 

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