h a l f b a k e r yCompound disinterest.
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car parks
create your own space on a full car park | |
Always carry a tin of white paint in the boot of your car so that if all the spaces are taken on prime car parks you can paint your own parking area.
(PS I hold the copyright on this idea)
Sticky Partridge
trueline
http://www.colebrothers.com/trueline/
Professional road marking equipment. [pottedstu, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
(?) DIY road markings in Seattle
http://seattletimes...03_traffic22m0.html
Residents painted "no parking" lines and pedestrian crossings, and put up their own stop signs. [pottedstu, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Medford, Oregon parking
http://www.ci.medfo...Q.asp?CategoryID=13
$5 permit lets you paint "no parking" lines outside your house (second question). [pottedstu]
Council lifts vehicle, paints yellow lines under it
http://www.mypaddin...unity-localnews.htm
They apologised when he got a parking ticket, though. [pottedstu, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
(?) Council lifts vehicle, paints yellow lines under it
http://www.mypaddin...unity-localnews.htm
They apologised when he got a parking ticket, though. [pottedstu, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]
(?) Stick-on lines for model roads
http://www.geocitie...an_glo//lines1.html
Need a full-size version of this. [pottedstu, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]
(?) Cullen Skink
http://homepages.en...boch/html/skink.htm
Just so as you know, if you didn't already. [calum, Nov 13 2001]
Idiot Son
http://www.idiotson.net/
...adding to the list. [st3f, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Famous Belgians
http://www.google.c...us+belgians&spell=1
It's almost like they've got something to prove, isn't it? [hippo]
Famous Belgians
http://www.famousbelgians.net/
Apparently, there are nearly 250 of them [hippo, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Famous Belgians
http://www.famousbelgians.net/
Apparently, there are nearly 250 of them [jonthegeologist, Oct 17 2004]
(?) Stick-on lines for model roads
http://www.geocitie...man_glo/lines1.html
Need a full-size version of this. [pottedstu, Oct 21 2004]
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If you can find the space to do it. |
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I thought we decided you can't copyright an idea, didn't we? |
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I'm sure I read this once somewhere. You could also carry
a tin of black to paint out the double yellows. |
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And a saw to take down the 'Handicap Parking' sign. |
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And a winch to drag cars out of their spaces. |
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And a team of engineers to add an extra floor to the multi-storey carp ark. |
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and a fake handicap permit to park in the handicap spaces.
Venal Pettifogger |
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And a large amount of quicksand to swallow the traffic warden and keep him away from your illegaly parked car. |
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and a counterfeit boot so it seems you're already about to be towed. |
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and a bubbling cauldron of tarmac in case you need to lay some road to paint the parking sace on.
Happy Birthday |
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you could just drive a MoPed and that would fit in any space, plus it does 134 MPG if you're ex-Navy...
Cullen Skink |
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and a tuxedo to pose as James Bond while you sneak into the back of Kinko's at night to take photocopies of your own ass which you will distribute at the local mall during the Christmas rush before climbing a tree and throwing pinecones at passing cars.
Sadistic Pleather |
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Yeah, but if you did that, you wouldn't be able to easily carry around the white paint. I recommend a 5000 lb 1960s Ford pick-up tank. That way, you can carry as much paint and tarmac as you want. |
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[maggie], I believe that if you copyright / patent that idea, God may get you for prior art on "create your own space". |
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Fold up your car, and put it in the back of the nearest 1960s Ford pick-up. Slash the tires so he can't get away. Or just for the hell of it. |
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Just make sure Mr Forwarded from the US navy doesn't find out about it. |
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If you drive a dockyard container crane, you can park above other vehicles.
Overinflated eagle |
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If you drive a Sherman tank you can park *on* other vehicles. (©Kenny Everett 198x) |
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If you drive a tow-truck you can tow away other vehicles. |
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I never seem to have trouble finding a place to park on the foot-path. |
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An anti-gravity car would allow you to park on the roof. Drivers of low-slung sports cars could double up. |
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(I can't find any links more exact than those I posted.) |
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If you carried a pocketful of nanobots around with you, then they could disassemble someone else's car, then you could quickly nip into their parking space whilst the 'bots reassembled their car on the yellow lines and they got a ticket instead of you.
Emotional Turmoil |
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<pedant action="on" arena="vocabulary" context="Shakespeare"> 'Wherefore' means 'why' </pedant>
Additional words |
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<pedantry>
waugs: your fake xml start and end braces don't match.
angel: The sentence parses fine. It just doesn't mean much. Then again he did say it was a dumb question.
Marian: 'Enyious'?
</pedantry> |
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st3f: she's making an out-of-place reference to a wee flame war that went on over at Transformobile with mp9man, he of the 134mpg moped and setting the FBI on 'wax. He's deleted his earlier annotations (or the idea owner has) but one of them had the usual spelling error; somehow he'd put a 'y' instead of a 'v' in "are you envious of my great fuel consumption?" (To which the answer in most of the USA does appear to be 'no')
Chaste Rabbits |
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If your car had a fabulous gamut of communications technologies (cf.), it would be able to divert the traffic warden with its witty conversation.
[blissmiss: "sacey hippo"?]
Yielding Bosom |
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maybe if your car was a hypnotist, the traffic warden wouldn't be able to get to any of the other cars either. Your car would become a public service, in fact.
Fat Arse |
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Maybe if you talked about your 5000lb Ford pick-up to the traffic wardens they would fall asleep and you would be able to get away with it. |
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a remote hydraulic flipper (robot wars style) to flip your
car to vertical position to park in small spaces. |
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Rods: you almost pulled it off. |
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Note that she hasn't returned. |
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Hi there everyone. Wonderful stuff you've all written. Well spotted Arora. Yes, you might have read this before because I submitted it to Viz during the early nineties for their Letterbox column, for which I got the glorious sum of £5 and a ballpoint. |
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Seek and ye shall find.
Clean and Jerk |
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If you drive a nail, all you need is a hammer. |
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Hey maggie, now that you're back, what is up with the "Sticky Partridge" thing? It's been bugging the hell out of me. |
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Dammit [maggie], now you've gone and changed the format. |
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I'll have another martini, please.
Musso and Frank |
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While you're enjoying lamb chops at the oldest restaurant in Hollywood, get a facelift for your car, there IS a downside to having a Parking Space Increaser.
Faulkgerald and Fitzner |
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[waugs], say huh, wha . . . . ?
conned and fused |
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Burrowing car that sort of rucks up the sidewalk and crawls under it. |
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[Dog Ed] Halfbaked already as 'worm train'. Sort of.
4th and Broadway |
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We could all travel around in sewers? Oh, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Baked.
Hall and Oates |
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Communal cars anyone can drive off in, so they won't need parking (I believe this is baked with bicycles.) |
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Communal shoes. If you're not walking, you don't really need them
Devil an' carnate. |
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You could use shrinking power to make all the other cars smaller, then there'd be more room to fit your car in.
Bake 'n butties |
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I know what you meant. You were quoting TheGreatestStoryEverTold
fire and brimstone |
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You could always carry around a glot and parkin it. |
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Bi afraid. Be very afraid!
Kill The Poor |
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I'm waiting for Vernon to add to this. |
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Starry-Eyed and Bollock Naked |
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Bi afraid, Dr Bob? You're getting as bad as Arora with her Brians. |
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Anyway, just thought you'd all like to know where the idea of painting parking spaces got born. It was on one of many trips around Blue Bridge Car Park, York (lovely, lovely old York, Yorkshire, England). I never actually managed to park there - I just sequesterd and wished. |
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Remember to bring orange road cones to prevent others from parking too close to you and dinging your door. |
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There's never a mone about my spelling, maggie.
First Rule Is... |
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Ah, prank potential! Keep blue paint and yellow paint in the car. Convert legal parking to illegal parking while occupied. |
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the words parking plot will never be the same again |
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I bet DrBob sent the pedantic note that stopped that little girl's trial in Lewes yesterday.
Fortnum and Mason. |
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My friends say that fur is best for keeping out the cold. Well, ermine works but I prefer my winter Woollies.
In the City
(Talk about jumping through hoops…) |
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Rods: only if we could cut belgium up into little pieces, and carry a chunk of it round in our cars (just unroll your slice of Belge, and park thereon). |
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At last! A use for Belgium!
Walloons and Phlegm. |
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good chocolate
Esslemont and Macintosh |
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I had a friend, John Lewis, who went to Belgium. He wasn't to be relyd on.
Burn Hollywood, Burn! |
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but I bet he was never knowingly undersold.
Lillywhites. |
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I want to know how Jamie Oliver gets all that shopping AND his gran home on a poxy scooter!
(UK television ad for Sainsbury's) |
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Evil cyclists could divide each lane into 2 half the width. |
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Chalmer's - One of Scotland's better bakers |
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He doesn't take his gran home - he just visits her with a
piping hot pie he made earlier - cos he's a nice lad. With
an endless supply of 'mates' to have round for impromtu
parties |
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Name three famous Belgians. |
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ever been to "Market Harborough" Pete?
best cheese on toast ever. |
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[UB] you missed Rene Magritte. |
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[UB] But included Hercule Poirot, who only lives in books and not Belguim, as he is fictional. |
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UB knows that but Poirot is still *famous* |
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We are talking Belgium not Belguim |
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.............actually we are not, we are talking car parks......... |
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Justine Henin and Kim Clijsters, Belgium's female equivalent of Tim Henman and Greg Rusedski. (Only neither of them are from another country entirely and they actually win things. So nothing like Tim and Greg after all) |
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[UnaBubba] Can't imagine skewering someone with a burst of flatulence, though doing so through the door of a 26 ton Ford pickup could be inneresting (sic). |
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[Rods Tiger] Yes, they do. I was there on Friday.
eatmyhandbagbitch.com |
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This is a good idea and would
work very well in the artist city
of...
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The band I have to add is
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pottedstu, OK, here you go... :)
This particular notion involves magical technology, which is why it can't be posted as an Idea on its own. Still, it is one of those mad ideas I had years and years ago, and kind-of wish there was a way to make it work. |
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I call it the "Ghost Button". It is a little black box that you attach to the outside of your car. It has a lock so only you can use it. Press the button, and your car becomes ghostly. It doesn't weigh anything anymore, so you can pick it up by the ghost-button box, and put it in the same parking space as some other car. You could put a hundred cars in the same spot! -- as long as there is room for a hundred ghost-button boxes. (You could just push your car underground, and hide the box in a bush.) Naturally, when you are done with whatever-it-was, away from your car, you drag the box and attached ghostly car back into an open space, and push the button again, restoring the car to its normal state, after which you climb in and drive off. |
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Sounds like a great tool for assassination. |
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The Belgians aren't renowned for their quick wit and lively attitude. So you could never describe them as a sassy nation.
Kind Hearts & Coronets |
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I voted for it, because I would not have the cojones to do it. |
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Just got a parking ticket the other day so
started trawling half-bakery rants for like-
minded aggravation. Found this. Laughed.
Bun. [+] |
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