Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
RIFHMAO
(Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)

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cancel on time

 try out more crap without fear
 
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You know those offers? "get 3 months free! Cancel any time." The idea being that you'll forget and end up paying after the free months end. With 'cancel on time' simply phone us, or go to our web site. We'll call, and cancel for you on the date you ask. So join today! First 3 cancellations free!*

*after that you pay $5.85 a month, what did you expect?

—futurebird, Dec 19 2002

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       You *could* cancel the cancellation, but you'd have to 1)fill out a "rescind cancellation" form, in triplicate. 2)Have one copy officially notarized and signed by your employer, parents, spouse (if applicable), doctor, and high school PE teacher, and submit it through certified mail to the "cancellation cancellation" department. 3) Treat the second copy as the first, but instead of sending it off keep it for your records. 4) Treat the third as the first two, but rather than sending it or keeping it, shred it into fine particles and cook it into a soup which is to be fed to no less than one dozen people. None who partake of the resulting soup should at any time notice that they have eaten shredded document soup. 5) Remit the $10 cancellation processing fee. 6) Allow 7 to 100 days for your cancellation cancellation to be processed.
—Pharaoh Mobius, Dec 19 2002
   

       Yes. +.   

       Could you also arrange for my household appliances to break down a week before the guarantee is up?
—whimsickle, Dec 19 2002
   

       "death within renturn period" service is $0.50 extra a month, but well worth it!
—futurebird, Dec 19 2002
   

       AOL can be rough. I had it for a month, but I got better.
—futurebird, Dec 19 2002
   


 

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