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bowel assist

 vacuum that helps move bowels
  (+2, -8)(+2, -8)
(+2, -8) 		  [vote for,
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This would be a toilet that created an adjustable vacuum to assist bowel movement. Stubborn bowels need not be a problem, and the danger of blowing a gasket is decreased by reducing the effort needed to evacuate feces. Of course, a better diet including plenty of water and fiber would be a better fix, but that doest make for very cool electronic toilets. Also, something would have to be done about the splash, feces that were vacuumed out might gain a bit of velocity.
—bmadigan1, Aug 18 2004

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       Oh My God! I think I just prolapsed!. Turn it DOWN goddammit!
Personally, I have never sat on a toilet where I could make a vacuum seal. aybe it is just me!
—gnomethang, Aug 18 2004
   

       It would leave a helluva suction mark.
—plasticspoon, Mar 06 2009
   

       If you still had a bowel afterward.
—Spacecoyote, Mar 06 2009
   

       I am afraid that I will have what I think is the best bowel movement of my life only to discover my intestines in the bowl afterwards.
—Jscotty, Mar 06 2009
   

       A prolapsed bowel is an empty bowel.   

       By the way, Ick.
—nomocrow, Mar 06 2009
   

       This can't be good for hemorrhoids
—saprolite, Mar 06 2009
   

       I'm just going to stick to using a plumber's snake.
—Laughs Last, Mar 06 2009
   

       This would definitely not work and it would probably prolapse the rectum. A prolapsed bowel is not necessarily an empty one, but it might turn out to be a gangrenous one after quite a short interval, partly because it isn't empty.
By the way, the dates of the annotations on this idea give hope to the more forlorn contributions to this site.
—nineteenthly, Mar 06 2009
   

       Vacuum technology certainly has its place in removing/collecting matter in a convenient fashion, but throughout history, there has been used a much more common, simple technology which combines a number of factors such as scraping, gouging, material removal, and gradualism:   

       the DRIILL.   

       Therefore, I propose..........
—marquisdenet, Mar 10 2009
   


 

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