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normal tennis played with a tennis racquet that has a blunderbuss in the handle.
professional male tennis players are serving with speeds of a mere 150 mph. lets liven things up a bit by serving the ball using the blunderbuss end of the racquet then twirling it around quickly for the normal return
shot.
if Sir Cliff turns up, there might be an added bonus.
[marked–for–expiry–of–henmania]
oh bless him. he did his best with the rain.
http://mrbongo1.homestead.com/des.html
[po, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
The English Elvis
http://www.cliffrichard.com/
Cliff Richard. Professional virgin, Tennis lover and the Peter Pan of pop. [sufc, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Cliff - singing in the rain among other stuff
http://news.bbc.co....tainment/969032.stm
[po, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
What I would be more likely to use...
http://www.hammache...51023&AFID=BEFREE01
...I'm a table tennis player. [Jinbish, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
sick as a parrot, jinbish?
http://www.robbinst...nis.com/prodrob.htm
something like this. [po, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
I've always wanted one...
https://www.tees-sp...e=xzx&thickness=xzx
I've had my eye on this one for a while now. If only we could get some hapless fool of a council to buy it for our club. [Jinbish, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
The Young Ones for Snarfy
http://www.cultv.co.uk/young.htm
featured a different band each week - to add to your enjoyment [po, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Another Approach
http://www.worth100...3&display=photoshop
[DrCurry, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
[link]
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Would add a certain something to Dodgeball, too. Injuries, maybe. |
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Way to make men's tennis even less entertaining, though the thought of Sir Cliff with a burst nose makes this idea too appealing to reject. |
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What did I miss about Cliff Richard? |
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Hey, great - the risk of raquets exploding and firing lead shot all over the perfectly manicured lawns of SW19. 15-40 - and that's just the injuries. |
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Mind you, I'm not sure what you've got against Sir Quiff Pilchard. |
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They do always talk about explosive serves ... |
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I liked it in the days when they had rallies... |
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Jin, the school has an electric table tennis ball shooter thingy. its incredible, all angles, speeds with top and bottom spins. I could waste hours playing against it <g> |
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So should I rent "Summer Holiday" or what? |
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no, try to find a copy / copies of The Young Ones. |
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[po]: I am soooo jealous. I'd come to your school and coach... but I'd only growl at the kids to stop pestering me and let me practice. |
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you are more than welcome. the kids would only growl back <g> |
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Nah, they'd be too struck with awe - seeing such table tennis poetry in motion. |
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It's ok kids, there'll be plenty of time for autographs later. |
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I hate to throw cold water on such an excellent idea, but just how do you get sufficient height on your service to get your serves in? Seems to me that there would be nothing but faults (unless you could hit your opponent on the noggin and knock her out of the game). |
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I just aim in the usual way - cannot see a problem here |
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Henman's thru to the 1/4's |
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so which of the next matches is going to be the one when his play goes pear-shaped? |
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[po]: Why the next round of course! He's playing Grosjean - who beat him at Queen's a fortnight ago. Crash and burn... |
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you gotta love those french names. now Henri LeConte - mmmm |
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I'm sorry but I can only support harquebus tennis rackets |
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then exploding tennis balls could
be invented. eventually all tennis
players would be either dead or
arrested for manslaughter, either
way we no longer have to watch
this, the most boring of sports,
which continually ruins the TV
listings all summer |
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