Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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bio-shave

 no more blades scraped across your, uh, face
 
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Hair grows differently on different parts of the body.

Clearly, there must be some sort of chemical message that regulates the type of hair that grows on different parts of the body.

Don't want a beard? Take this pill once daily.

Much easier than the blow torch method I was thinking of.

—cljudge, Jan 12 2004

There's always this stuff http://www.drugstor...loe_and_lanolin.htm
A chemical massage rather than a chemical message. [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

[link]






       I think those pills would keep other things from growing as well. :(
—kracker, Jan 12 2004
   

       //bio-shave //
Nair hair removal products. May fall under the "chem-shave" heading better, though
—Letsbuildafort, Jan 12 2004
   

       Most chemical messages in the body involve a cascade of multiple chemicals. In other words, it is highly unlikely that testosterone binds to hair follicles in the face to cause beard growth.   

       Much more likely is the scenario in which testosterone causes hundreds of other messengers in the form of proteins and it is one or more of these proteins that ultimately cause facial hair to grow. Finding that protein and using a modified form to block the active site while not triggering hair growth should not interfere with other testosterone influenced systems.
—cljudge, Jan 12 2004
   

       //no more blades...//
Wax?
—silverstormer, Jan 12 2004
   

       Actually, given that hair growth patterns change through life (boy's fine short facial hair giving way to the full beards of men, men's head hair going fine and short again when they go "bald", not to mention what happens between our legs and under our armpits when we mature), there is evidently some kind of cellular switch that can be set by external action.   

       Hair growth is always the same, whether it's for the long hairs of the head, the fine hairs on a baby, the afore-mentioned short and curlies or, for that matter, the fur on a cat. Basically, a dormant period while the hair follicle does nothing, a growth period, and another dormant period while the hair just stays there with no further growth. Then the hair falls out and the cycle begins again.   

       There is much research into precisely what turns the different cycles on and off, and no doubt the end result will be some chemical or hormonal extract, either in pill form or topical lotion. But there's nothing new in this idea, which is essentially a magic pill that turns hair growth off.   

       (It's actually a little more complicated than the above, but you need to look at that cat's fur, where each hair has three distinct parts, for it to be obvious.)
—DrCurry, Jan 12 2004
   

       I think the way to go here is to develop grooming symbiotes. Perhaps starting with the flesh eating bacteria? No more hair cuts, no more teeth brushing, no more nail cutting?   

       Of course, not much would change for me, but for those who think this is important stuff
—theircompetitor, Jan 12 2004
   

       Electrolysis.
—kropotkin, Jan 13 2004
   

       Would I have to swap my aftershave for afterpill? Or if [theircompetitor] has his way, aftersymbiote? Somehow it doesn't sound right.
—dobtabulous, Jan 13 2004
   

       kropotkin: or in my version, electro-lice.   

       dobtabulous: they can leave you with a pleasant tingling sensation
—theircompetitor, Jan 13 2004
   

       I like some of the hair / development discussion. As regards the idea I think it is too scanty for my buns. I have wondered whether testosterone blocking creams might not be able to locally inhibit beard / public hair growth.   

       As regards the developmental programs governing hair, it is interesting stuff. The hair generating cells themselves can be fooled into switching their programs. I met a guy who had flaming red hair in his youth, which then turned gray and fell out by the time he was in his 40s. In is 70s he got chemo and all the rest of his hair fell out. Then it all grew back, even places he had been bald for 30 years! And it was red again. It was the wildest thing. There are other drugs desgined as cancer fighters (such as Iressa, an epidermal growth factor receptor blocker) that have side effects in the hair - ladies on Iressa often have their hair turn from gray back to black.
—bungston, Jan 13 2004
   

       I believe that it's excess testosterone that causes baldness (then again, of course, I would), so maybe testosterone pills rather than testosterone blockers.
—DrCurry, Jan 13 2004
   

       I love that you're some sort of expert on hair growth.
—waugsqueke, Jan 13 2004
   
      
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