h a l f b a k e r yThe phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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The flask canes presently available have several glass vials
with stopper that have to be removed from the cane in
order to enjoy a surreptitious drink in the middle of the
game/opera/children's school presentation.
It would be better if the cane had a thin stainless lining
with a tiny but
long tube reaching to the bottom. The
tube would be attached to a battery-powered electronic
valve in the head of the cane. Another valve would be
attached to a small nitrous canister, Which would be timed
to fire (by means of a small circuit board) a second or two
after the pouring valve.
The cane would have decorative buttons down the side
(these could be tiny roses, etc.) that would trigger the
opening of the valve. There would be five or so, and they
would have to be chorded in a specific ways to trigger
different pour amounts.
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Annotation:
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Especially if you don't want anyone to know you've been
drinking... |
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I have a hard time picturing this. Either you have to tip the whole cane to pour a drink, catching some nice lady under the nose with the filth-festooned tip as it waves about, or you have to suck lasciviously on your cane and hope no-one notices. Or perhaps the nitrous detonation shoots some booze into the air and your mouth nose and eyes. |
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If it were a sword cane too then you could call it Excalibourbon... that's not mine. I swiped it but I don't remember from who. |
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doesn't really matter the point it it's not mine |
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//Excalibourbon// Hence the expression "You're stoned!" |
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[bungston] The idea is that the cane works upright
and surreptitiously If the cane is like an inverted "L"
the liquor comes from the tip of the small leg,
underneath. You just have to push the right chord
while holding your mixer under the tip. |
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..but I guess I didn't mention that you would have at
least a glass of ice. Anything else would be barbaric. |
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carbonated drinks are absorbed by the body faster and your level of intoxication. |
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