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battery hens
Put virtual reality helmets on battery hens on treadmills. | |
Say you put a virtual reality helmet on a battery hen,
and fed it the the images necessary for it to have a psychologically satisfying life,
and placed it on a treadmill such that it could roam and graze without leaving the cage,
WOULD THE BATTERY HENS BE BETTER OFF THAN THEY ARE NOW ?
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Depends. For egg sample, if they're looking at *hot* chicks, is that necessarily a good thing? I mean, seeing your cousin covered with barbeque sauce turning on an open barbeque spit might make you go cuckoo. |
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<pedant police> Barbecue<p.p.> |
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How is this cheeper than letting them roam free? |
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Dunno about the hens, but add some little generators and some chicken wire to the treadmills, and you could get power from the battery. |
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When a chickens life flashes before its eyes, I wonder if it remembers getting laid. |
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Gotta establish a pecking order first. |
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don't attempt to put on the helmet until you see the white of their eyes. |
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One may think that having to run on a treadmill with a helmet strapped over the eyes would be comforting. But its not. |
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Come on now Zed, fess up. You got the idea for this from watching The Matrix, and Chicken Run, back to back didn't you? |
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At breakfast you might ask for a salt and battery eggs. |
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You might explain the term "battery hen" for everyone, it is not commonly used in the US. |
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'Battery hens' are hens raised for egg production, which are kept permanently in small (450 sq cm) wire-mesh cages. Their advantage is that the eggs so produced are significantly cheaper than those produced by humane methods. The disadvantage to the purchaser is that the eggs are tasteless, although some people seem not to care. The disadvantage to the hens should be obvious, although the same people also seem not to care. |
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Veal crates are illegal in UK now, and I thus find my elf able to eat veal, in the knowledge that the animal was raised and slaughtered humanely. Battery cages are not illegal, so I buy only free-range eggs (produced by hens which are free to roam, feed and perch). |
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<monty burns> Eggggseeeeeellllennntt! </monty burns> |
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//barbeque//
//
<pedant police> Barbecue<p.p.>//
bbq show on bbc |
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//barbeque//
<texan pedant sherriff> -BQ </tps> |
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<pedant police> Texan<p.p.> |
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So it's not chickens that lay "AA"s then. I thought perhaps it was an offshoot of UB's giant chicken soda machine. |
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B-B-Q 9pm tonite. Whole chicken roast. |
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