h a l f b a k e r yFlaky rehab
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My husband takes great pleasure in repeatedly consuming
curry, beer and eggs in order to produce foul (from his point
of view - supreme) smelling sulphide gases. Not only do I have
to put up with the aroma but he somehow presumes I wish to
sample them in a confined space by wafting the odour
in my
direction with the bed covers, and pinning down the sheets
to retain the smell.
My "odour buster" available as a tablet for willing takers or in
liquid form to be administered easily (without the offender
knowing) would convert intestine gases to a wonderful
perfume fragrance. My house would smell so lovely - air
fresheners would become a thing of the past. The tablets
could come in various scents - vanilla, pine and cinnamon for
the festive season, jasmine for summer, etc. (lavender not
available)
I have considered arsenic, but murder is Baked.
In the mean time...
http://www.under-tec.com/
...there's Under-Ease. [StarChaser, Nov 10 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Flatulance absorbing seat cusion
http://www.flatulence-filter.com/
With carbon filter [mwburden, Nov 10 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Beano
http://hbandf.com/c....cfm?Item_No=338063
that's quite a dreamboat you've got there, arora [mrthingy, Apr 04 2002]
Flatulence deodorizer
http://flat-d.com
Gas Deodorizer pad that absorbs foul smelling fart odor [franko2, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
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Annotation:
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how I sympathise with you.
I hope someone comes up with a concoction.
There is always the big BUNG solution but I don't know whether he would co-operate with this device.
A good trick is the lighted match - burns off the sulphur I believe, then use the lit match to light an incense stick. good luck and heartfelt condolence. |
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I've seen pills to remove the reek from poo-gas, leaving only the amusement value, but I can't remember where... |
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How about a tiny version of those flares they have on top of drilling rigs for burning off the excess gas? You'd think modern science could solve this without rubber tubing, corks or charcoal inserts, but I guess they're all to busy making singing fishes and Harry Potter merchandise. |
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StarChaser: I really liked the amusement value of the link
to "Under-Ease" I think I'd prefer foul smelling gases than
have my husband wear those. It reminded me of
something off "Blue Peter" - a few household objects,
plastic bags, felt and a bit of hob extractor filter all held
together with rubber bands and sticky tape. I didn't fancy
bottling, burning it or blocking the gases - just changing
the aroma. |
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PS: [Divorce the SOB.] The thought had crossed my mind,
but is this the "marriage guidance" site?
I rather thought there might be some response to my idea
of fragranced farts - not marital advice. |
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//My husband takes great pleasure in repeatedly consuming curry, beer and eggs in order to produce foul (from his point of view - supreme) smelling sulphide gases. Not only do I have to put up with the aroma but he somehow presumes I wish to sample them in a confined space by wafting the odour in my direction with the bed covers, and pinning down the sheets to retain the smell. //
Mom? |
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I'm thinking catalytic converter... |
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[arora] Wait 'til the SOB is asleep then staple the covers to the mattress for an aroma-tight seal. Then go sleep on the couch. In the morning, let the coroner figure out what killed him... |
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angel: sorry - I never thanked you for your annotation on
a previous post. I should have a ;) stamped on me. |
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Thanks for the advice PeterSealy, 2 days he's been gone.
The air is fresh and I'm coping well. |
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So, uh, *how* does it work exactly? If you replaced the magic with an actual idea, no matter how hare-brained, I'd vote for it. Meanwhile... |
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More of an English "skunk" I thinks. |
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Oh what the hell, yes a swine, in the true sense of the
word.
But he does have his good points - how could I change
that light bulb at the top of the stairs? The one that's just
out of reach when stood on a chair? |
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Arora: The guy who designed the Under-Ease has a wife with Crohn's disease, which apparently makes the smallest little poot peel paint at 100 yards. |
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Pink panties might not work, but maybe you could strap one of those seat cushions to it... |
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On the other hand, if you're willing to extend some of the fringe benefits to me, I'll be happy to change your lightbulbs...<Groucho Marx eyebrow wiggle> |
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<Don't panic, I'm harmless. |
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The latest product that is thin and highly absorbant is the Flat-D.
I got one for Xmas as a joke and found that it really works.
Check them out. |
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Getting him to drink mint tea might mask the odor. My husband whiffs up the house, but is humbled by the output of one of our hounds, which we have nicknamed "fartdog." |
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Man - I got here to late! I thought of the same thing in the early nineties but was still years from having heard of this site! Then before I found this post I was afraid it would be called magic because I couldn’t figure out how to change the odor of the gas. One suggestion – rename the product ‘Toot Sweets’! |
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