h a l f b a k e r yReplace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...
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Until recently, a border wall has been proposed as the ideal
solution to on-going political and social problems. Critics of
the ideal solution have found flaws with border walls: they
are
easily breached with ladders, destroyed with dynamite,
defeated by trucks with stairs and conveniently
pierced with
low cost battery operated metal saws or with tunnels.
Accordingly, an on-going debate has prevented a major
nation
to stay open.
What my invention proposes is an alien-technology
approach to border walls comprising a wall of impregnable
materials able to resist explosions, saw blades and the like.
The wall will be so high that ladders will not reach the top.
The wall will be so thick that only specially designed
apparatus will be able to measure the thickness and without
precision, thereby frustrating tunnel diggers, the specially
designed apparatus kept secret to everyone but the wall
constructors who will destroy the apparatus as soon as the
wall is completed.
The first step is to find the alien with knowledge of this
technology.
Project Plowshare
https://en.wikipedi...i/Project_Plowshare
Perhaps a little misguided ... [8th of 7, Jan 15 2019]
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So, let me see if I've got this straight. Assuming you're talking
about Trump's border wall, your cunning plan is to make it tall
and thick and strong. That's it? |
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I'm assuming this is a political statement utilizing
sarcasm, which is fine. |
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No need for further political debate though. We've
already wrapped it up by
agreeing that one side is trillion percent right all the time
and the
other side is approximately 85 quintilajillion times worse
than Hitler, so there's finally complete consensus on all
sides. |
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Now we just need to figure out which side is which. |
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If one were to want to impregnate a wall, would it be hard? |
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I’d think it would have to be as hard as it could
possibly be. |
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If it were manned by US Marines, it would be hard and full
of seamen. |
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I can sell you a solid, spherical wall with a circumference of
about 40 000 km. That meets the requirements as specified. |
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The implementation detail of how to locate your nation
unambiguously on the right side of it can be resolved later, on a
time and materials basis. |
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How about if all of the USA, apart from the Whitehouse, were
to secede? It could then call itself nUSA and get on with
business, leaving the present incumbent to rule the
Whitehouse and its grounds. |
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If you build a wall that's so thick it extends all the
way from the Mexican border to the Canadian
border, all of the current problems will go away.
The Chinese can build it. |
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// If one were to want to impregnate a wall, would it be hard? // |
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Ask the Germans. A lot of them were screwed by a wall. |
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A pregnable wall would be worth looking into - plus, it might be
a great deal cheaper. |
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Alternately, a single 20ft section, made of the stainlinest of
steels, capable of moving up and down the border to be deployed
at times of great national photo-opportunity-ness for Presidents
to stand proudly in front of should be enough to placate the
baying masses, whilst not amounting to profligate spending on a
white elephant in a climate of deep national debt. |
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"Stalin" actually means "man of steel" in Russian - Uncle Joe's familiy name was Dzhugashvili, which is a Georgian* name. |
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*The central Asian republic, not the southern US state. It's easy to tell them apart - one's full of racist violent homicidal drunks who don't speak English and have bizarre customs and rituals, and the other's in central Asia. |
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//build a wall that's so thick it extends all the way
from the Mexican border to the Canadian border, all
of the current problems will go away// |
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You know, as much as we joke about A.H. here, (and
who doesn't like a good Hitler joke?)
fantasizing about genocide is technically something
Hitler would actually
do. Just sayin'. |
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// it extends all the way from the Mexican border to the Canadian border // |
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But that would kill most of the Mexicans, shirley ? |
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// who doesn't like a good Hitler joke? // |
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Well, [xenzag] seems inexplicably unenthusiastic ... |
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The problem is not people crossing the land border, the problem is the existence of a land border which has non-Americans on the other side of it. Surely the most straightforward solution is to expand America down to Panama and either then, before or immediately after sink Panama into the sea. This leaves the US in control of a strategically and financially important waterway, removes the land border and increases the number of Americans - the rootinist rootinist nationality of all - in absolute terms and gives the US domestic control over the drug trade, rather than having to rely on eh negotiating with various Central American lads. |
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I believe you meant to say "rootinist tootinist". |
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I'm not sure where we rank on the "rootin' tootin' "
scale but then again I'm not sure what rootin' and
tootin' is. Digging up roots and farting maybe? Seems
like a weird thing extol but OK. |
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// sink Panama into the sea. // |
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You'd need to do that first. Project Plowshare <link> piloted the technology, and the USSR tried similar tests. Once the fallout's blown away, then you can extend south. |
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//I believe you meant to say "rootinist tootinist".//
I did indeed, thank you. Your persipcacity is exceeded only by your personal charm. |
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Thank you for your kind words. I do rank being able
to
charm calum as only slightly less important than
being
good at rootin'. |
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// If you build a wall that's so thick it extends all the way
from the Mexican border to the Canadian border, all of the
current problems will go away. The Chinese can build it.// |
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I knew that if I stayed on this website long enough (15 years
I think), there will come a day that [xenzag] will say
something that's more funny than annoying. And today that
day has come. Just felt I had to announce it to the world. |
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//Just felt I had to announce it to the world.//
You timed that well before you ended up inside the
great wall. A small favour ensures the nostrils are
left
protruding, with a separate little wall around them
to deter
any curious ants. |
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