h a l f b a k e r yJust add oughta.
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Put on this glittery lipstick Postal Lipstick and smooch a postcard to send to your lover, the only stamp needed is your lips!* (*and of course the hundreds of teeny particles in the lipstick that make it legal tender). Perhaps the unique particles could be fluorescent or something, each a fraction of
a cent in postage on their own but a valid amount in total. More kisses would obviously send it further, but you'd be limited by the square-cube law at around a shoebox-sized parcel. It'd also be a very expensive and cultured look to wear out and about in the municipality.
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Shut up and take my money. |
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Are lip prints unique to an individual like finger prints? If so you could register your print with the post office. Then when you send a letter sealed in this way, the automatic scanners at the sorting office will scan the lip print, identify you as the sender, and bill your account automatically. |
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If the scanner fails to identify your print then a big black and yellow sticker will be slapped onto the envelope obscuring the print and reading "INSUFFICIENT POSTAGE: £1.50 plus £7.95 handling fee to pay before delivery". |
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Ah, I am a fool! More important than the logistics (to some) is the design itself. I guess I'm imagining as an icy blue with some flecks of gold? But this is a detail best left to professionals and those of the fairer inclination |
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It's a bit mushy for my taste, but approved nevertheless. |
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//icy blue with some flecks of gold// Pansexual. How Very Bowie. [+] |
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Does it come in a USPS-approved "Forever Kiss?" |
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If xan would use it, well then, SO WOULD I, MACE. |
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