Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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"Free Range Rude" Wranglers

Lasso inconsiderate cretins
 
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In the novel "Hannibal," Dr. Lecter mentions that some people are "free range rude;" that is to say, society has left the bastardy of certain individuals unchecked. Well, it is time to end their uncouth reign, but not by eating them.

I say cities hire bands of roving gentlemen and gentlewomen to halt them in their tracks, patroling the public areas for mindless acts. Or, better, have a "citizens arrest" type of thing where if, say, somebody knocks your drink out of your hand in the movies and proceeds to laugh at you as a soda stain spreads across your date's crotch, you can bind and gag them for a couple of hours until they have learned some manners.

Obviously, there would need to be rules to keep everybody from roping anybody they dislike. I think, though, that this system would make American culture on the whole more considerate and sensitive, as well as decrease the rate of psychotic rampage, since outlets for psychotic rage would be abundant in, say, a sports stadium.

MistressDeath, Sep 02 2002

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       Can't say I'm optomistic. Once the offal have identified your strengths, and verified your unwillingness to support them in their larger battles, you will sooner face the music.
reensure, Sep 02 2002
  

       If "somebody knocks your drink out of your hand in the movies" it was either an accident or assault, so you're already covered either way.   

       By the way, I'm making faces at you.
phoenix, Sep 03 2002
  

       oh no you are not.
po, Sep 03 2002
  

       phoenix: I think that is :p in geekspeak.   

       MistressDeath: this sounds an awful lot like the morals squads of various Islamic countries. I really don't think you would like it if they were implemented here.
DrCurry, Sep 03 2002
  

       I see a strapping cowboy, armed with a lasso, a pedant's police badge, and a copy of Miss Manners.
RayfordSteele, Sep 03 2002
  
      
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