h a l f b a k e r ySugar and spice and unfettered insensibility.
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Zoomba
A time whose idea has come | |
To an out-of-the-box Roomba, horizontally attach (using a repurposed bracket out of the Magic Can*) an out-of-the-box iPhone with Zoom queued up and Siri enabled. Modify docking area to charge both.
Deploy Zoombas to stores, service centres, libraries, pubs, doctors' offices, live theatres, public
hangings and so on. Home Zoombusers can now Zoom in anywhere formally attended by 3D bodies. Subsidize Zoombas for shut-ins and seniors' homes.
*Magic Can: 925g metal previously- full-of-coffee can with lid. Add leftover nuts, bolts, widgets, brackets as they arise. 'Magically' find exactly the piece you need when you need it for a different project. Never fails. Studies are ongoing to determine the location of the time-space portal inside the can.
Prior art
https://www.google....Aw&biw=1920&bih=979
Telepresence robots are available. [neutrinos_shadow, Oct 11 2020]
[link]
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{sombre lighting, pixillated face, distorted voice} |
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"I am a survivor of zoombuse. This is my story ..." |
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//Home Zoombusers//... //zoombuse// |
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Ah, I see the problem: when not followed by an 'a', the b is silent, as in womb and tomb. |
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// Studies are ongoing to determine the location of the time-space portal inside the can. // |
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We can tell you where the other end is - in the "useful stuff" box in our R & D facility.We know this because although we know that exactly the piece we need for a different project was at some point in the box, when we go to get it, it's mysteriously "not there". |
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So, it's you that's been nicking our stuff, is it ? |
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[8th], 'nicking' implies intent, and we are in a shop. |
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The Can's intake in your "useful stuff box"* explains the left-handed threads** and UKery like the spare MG bits. Luckily, this being a MagicCan in Canuckistan, we are equipped to swap out metric and imperial at will. |
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*"Useful stuff box", while being a straightforward, if bland, descriptor, is not technically accurate, if the truly useful contents are in my MagicCan. |
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**For the projectiles, of course. |
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Have YOU got that bloody nearside balljoint that we spent HOURS looking for ...? |
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<Collective grinding of teeth/> |
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This is called a "telepresence robot" and there are quite a
few available out there. I'm not sure about the "Zoom"
connectivity, but that's just software. |
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telepresence robot: Yes [n_s], we're familiar with these stilted scarecrow-type 'presences'. Even when they roll smoothly, they seem to be awkwardly-lurching lurkers. Whomever the scarecrow is supposed to be is always present on the screen, out of proportion to the 'body'.
<insert creeped-out shiver here> |
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Zoomba is smaller, less obtrusive, and more given to providing a rambling, friendly, 'milling through the crowd' feel. You may not even know who the Zoomba feed belongs to, if the phone is accidentally on purpose aimed at kneecap level. |
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And [8th], we needed the ball joint to repair Grandma's hip.
Do we need to go back and check the MagicCan for something to repair ground-down teeth?! Please step into my office... |
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