h a l f b a k e r yKeep out of reach of children.
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Zero-G Bar
Gravity-free bar for interstellar drunkeness | |
Sooner or later we'll be travelling in space, and a little bit later than that we'll be wanting a stiff drink. I propose that we begin development of a zero-gravity cocktail bar right now, so that we may be prepared - and it will indubitably have positive benefits for the clumsy, today.
Issue 1:
there's no gravity, hence no external force assisting in pouring and keeping the drink in the glass*. Solution - put valve nozzle caps on all the bottles (I presume that people will still care about brand names and some traditional aspects of drinking) and conduct the 'pour' through a measured sucker (ie; 2 chambers with nozzle adaptors and a system for evacuating one chamber of atmosphere, causing alcohol to flow from the bottle to the vacuum chamber). The chambers could conceivably be large enough to hold and mix a drink in, or only 1 shot (jigger, oz etc) in capacity.
* the mitigating effect of zero gravity keeping imbibers off the floor should not be overlooked.
Issue 2: surface tension - liquids will mostly attempt to form a ball in the absence of gravity. Your martini could float away! The solution is to use wholly enclosed vessels with sipper tubes. Not too elegant, but a sipper-adapted lid to fit your cocktail glass might retain some glamour, as would fitted glass lids. The illusion of sophistication will disappear anyway if you have velcro on the base of your elegant stemware to hold it to the table.
Sure, astronauts have drunk all manner of things in orbit already, and big soda companies conducted experiments/photo opportunities too... but cocktails in space will be very soignee.
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The consumption of liquids in microgravity is well researched and Baked. I don't see anything new being proposed - or am I missing something? |
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My love for Zero™ bars on warm summer days is one reason why I'm fighting a war on gravity today. |
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Phoenix... you're missing the cocktail element, that's all. |
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phoe, no you're not. This is all old news. |
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Coca-Cola had arranged a test of a zero-G soda can onboard a shuttle mission once. |
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You have overlooked the fact that there is no such thing as zero gravity. Everything has gravity, the more massive something is, the more gravity it has, but there is even gravity of this keyboard pulling my fingers to it, gravity of the ceiling of the room pulling my body toward it, and so on. What you mean is microgravity. That is when there is no gravity that can be felt acting on a person. Another thing overlooked is the common propensity of humans toward vertigo while in microgravity. Alcohol consumption and vertigo would combine together to create massive nausea, resulting in vomiting, resulting in floating vomit blobs, resulting in a mess. Some people are naturally not prone to vertigo in space, but most people have to overcome varying degrees of it before they can be astronauts. Maybe the bar would have some kind of vertigo test to take before entering. |
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As [dj_photon] said, you've made a Vomit Comet Cocktail. |
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I have enough trouble holding my drink. |
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Now if we can only figure out how to accomplish zero gravity smoking. |
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Okay, which of you jokers wrote the Bailey's commercial currently running in the US? |
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[Daylight, cafe. We are looking through something with a viewfinder. A small green subtitle says "ZERO GRAVITY BAR". Twentyish people are floating around. Music plays, a hip, jazzy up-tempo trumpet/organ riff. Couples are holding hands. A woman spins a bottle from which a big, beige, heart-shaped blob of Bailey's - a cream/coffee liqueur - escapes and floats above a light table. Cut away to the bartender, who is juggling an empty glass behind a normal stocked bar. (A bowl sitting on top of the bar has water in the bottom, etc. But the zero gravity has slowed down the glass to spin very slowly...) The glass bounces off the bartender's elbow and flies across the room, splashing the Bailey's blob. Little droplets fly everywhere. Floating guests start to catch globules in poses reminiscent of Homer Simpson in space with potato chips. Slogan: "Deliciously Infectious." WTF?] |
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Because Bailey's is a mixture of cheap whiskey and cream it goes off quite quickly if left unrefrigerated which makes it taste of sour milk. One of the problems with a zero-G bar is that you don't know how long that blob of Bailey's you're about to swallow has been floating around - you could be in for a nasty shock...
On the plus side I'm sure there must be a way to convert Bailey's into a tasty whiskey-flavoured cheese. |
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