Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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You Bought The Jumper, Now Buy The Sheep

sponsor a sheep
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You Bought The Jumper, Now Buy The Sheep is the name given to a new sheep sponsoring service.

It's quite a simple idea: next time you buy a luxurious hand knitted Aran sweater (we call them jumpers) you will receive a picture of the sheep that provided the wool you are now wearing. Along with the picture are some "personal" details about your woolie beast - ie its name, flock location, age, weight etc. These come with an invitation to sponsor the sheep and have part ownership of it. In return you will receive regular messages about your sheep, including first call on the next knitted item its wool produces.

Once a year you get the chance to "meet the sheep" and spend quality time in its company.

xenzag, Nov 13 2023

Father Ted - King of the Sheep episode https://www.youtube...watch?v=Z9VnL6d8JEE
it's just a badly recorded clip of one of the best programmes to ever appear on British and eventually on Irish Televsion. It was made in the UK because the Irish were too much in terror of the Catholic Church to permit it to be made there. [xenzag, Nov 13 2023]

The International Wool Textile Organisation https://iwto.org/sheep
[hippo, Nov 14 2023]

[link]






       Cue HHGTTG, "Okay, we'll meet the meat."
whatrock, Nov 13 2023
  

       Getting uncomfortable. The last time I saw this level of intimacy with a domestic animal it was Adesanya and his pit bull. It's a great idea for the Portland-ish market but I just want the sweater. The private life of the sheep is too much information. I planted trees in Israel a hundred years ago (almost) and they sent me a picture of the tree. Even at 10 years old I knew that this was the tree picture they sent to everyone. Make it interesting; make the sheep say something personal.
minoradjustments, Nov 13 2023
  

       What's the workaround for [a1]'s link not being available to view in Canuckistan? <pointing out, yet again, that I am mostly from the 1800s and am limited to traditional IRL jailbreak tools like 'the file in the jail cake' and similar>
Sgt Teacup, Nov 13 2023
  

       And I look forward to receiving quarterly videos featuring my special sheep doing sheep things: the chewing of the cud, side-eyeing the goats, running in a herd, gamboling, going down the pub Saturday night [+]
Sgt Teacup, Nov 13 2023
  

       //but I just want the sweater// Perhaps you might be interested in one of our other deals? : You Drank The Milk, Now Own The Cow
xenzag, Nov 13 2023
  

       Also:
You ate the egg, now eat its mother.
You ate the sausage, now eat the ham, pork, bacon, pettitoes, kidneys, chitterlings, faggots and tripe.
You rode the horse, now deal with the shit.
Loris, Nov 13 2023
  

       I’m not so sure you’ve quite understand the relationship link in this type of sponsorship. The product animal still has to be around as in: You Ate The Egg, Now Buy The Chicken (but not to eat)
xenzag, Nov 14 2023
  

       At what point does your grantee turn into mutton? There should be a term limit on sponsorship, with a gala dinner at the end. I’m in.
minoradjustments, Nov 14 2023
  

       A jumper from an individual sheep (as opposed to a processed wool blend from many sheep) would be new
sninctown, Nov 14 2023
  

       I actually have one of those Aran sweaters. I don't remember anything claiming it's made from the wool of a single sheep though.
21 Quest, Nov 14 2023
  

       [whatrock] - yes, I was thinking of that too!
[21 Quest] I checked, and making a jumper from the wool of a single sheep should be feasible. The International Wool Textile Organisation says "A single sheep, on average, provides around 4.5 kg of wool per year, the equivalent of 10+ metres of fabric. This 4.5 kg of wool is enough to make six sweaters, three suit and trouser combinations, or the fabric to cover one large sofa." (link)

I see nothing wrong with the end of the story being the eating of the animal in question. In fact there is something quite laudable, in terms of reducing waste and promoting sustainability, in sitting down to a delicious mutton stew, whilst wearing an exquisitely tailored suit made out of, and sitting on a chair upholstered with, the same sheep's wool, all lit by oil lamps fuelled with that sheep's rendered fat - followed by some tangy, crumbly, ewe's-milk cheese.
hippo, Nov 14 2023
  

       I wonder about how difficult and expensive it would be to track that and ensure only the wool of one sheep was used per sweater. One Karen of a customer is all it would take to DNA test various parts of her sweater to verify the claim.
21 Quest, Nov 14 2023
  

       //One Karen of a customer is all it would take to DNA test various parts of her sweater to verify the claim.//   

       The follicle of the hair is the only part with DNA, and that's left in the sheep, or if not, processed away, so that wouldn't be a great test.
There are other physical tests which can indicate that hairs come from the same person, I don't know how reliable they'd be for two sheep of the same breed in the same herd - I suspect they wouldn't hold up in court.
  

       In any case, you could avoid legal liability, if not frivolous lawsuits with an appropriate disclaimer.
You'd just take a hint from allergy warnings, and write on the label something like "this jumper produced in an an operation which processes the fleece of more than one sheep, and may contain small traces of the wool from multiple animals."
Loris, Nov 14 2023
  

       [hippo] I'm in for dinner, voting for Saddle of Mutton. I'm bringing the wine made from a single vine, the cigars from a single tobacco plant, and croissants made from flour from ten square meters in Centre-Val, buttered by a churning of a single squirt.   

       Sweater: $16,500   

       Wine: $6,800 per bottle (it was a bad year)   

       Cigars: $4,400 each (box of 20: $80,000)   

       Butter: $1,350/pat   

       You are targeting guys who own 100-meter yachts. Go for it.
minoradjustments, Nov 14 2023
  

       [minoradjustments] “The Restaurant Of Single-Origin Things” - I like it! The waitresses are a set of triplets, of course.
hippo, Nov 14 2023
  

       The triplets are already working on Pumpiansky's yacht.
minoradjustments, Nov 14 2023
  

       Thanks [a1], that link has successfully evaded the censors and virtual border cops! Recommend to keep it in the link queue.   

       Aside from the script problem that Colin the Chicken was probably a 'she'* (if he was a 'he' it'd likely be listed as 'capon' on the menu), this is a very accurate realistic representation of the actual '90s**.   

       *source: am small-scale boutique chicken farmer. No, really.   

       **source: was there, got the t-shirt, made it into a quilt.
Sgt Teacup, Nov 14 2023
  

       Angora is from rabbits. You could grow them in your yard.
pashute, Nov 27 2023
  

       You bought the sneakers, now sponsor the factory worker
not_only_but_also, Dec 03 2023
  

       Ooh, I like that one, [not_only_but_also].
pertinax, Dec 03 2023
  

       Why not every source? Animal, Plant, etc. I would very much love to thank the animal and learn its name where it lives, etc. (sheep in this case).   

       A lovely piece of redwood, ohhhh yeah, a small spot for all of my friends to see and meet all of my friends. Like a corkboard that I could hang in my living room and it might even certainly spark a conversation, I think.   

       I talk to trees, I mostly like trees better than sheep,(in this instance), So a little bio with my pencil, or whatever, I would love to see where a Palm Tree existed if I bought some of those decorative prawns they could insert a photo of where home was.
blissmiss, Dec 04 2023
  
      
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