h a l f b a k e r yA dish best served not.
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By the simple expedient of having one Vulcan bomber and three assisted trampoline we can side-step all that heap big firework rocket malarkey.
First the satellite is trucked up to 55,000 ft and then released, with a gps guidance system.
It falls towards the first spring assisted trampoline on Kangchenjunga
(28,169 ft) is bounced onto trampoline 2 which is on K2 (28,251 ft) and then the final bounce onto the one on Everest (29,029 ft).
At each stage the velocity is added to until escape velocity is reached, helped by the thinner air up there.
Has the additional benefit of being self-funding from the use of the equipment when not in use by extreme trampoline-ists and resultant heavy sales of the branded sick-bags on passenger launches.
Aha, you're asking where do the yetis come in? They help winch the springs on the assisted trampolines in return for bananas, free dentistry, first dibs on remains extreme trampoline-ists (who miss) and me keeping the home shopping channel turned off.
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Annotation:
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This is a near-faultless idea. |
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The only snag, as far as I can see, is that anything
launched ballistically from earth will eventually
return to that point unless (a) it attains escape
velocity or (b) some other part of the earth gets
in the way first. You cannot put something into
orbit by pure ballistic means, alas. |
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However, a trampoline on the ISS could serve to
deflect the satellite into an orbital path. It would
be quite important, though, to move the ISS out
of the way before the thing came around again. |
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It may be a sign that I've been here awhile that the only fault I can find is that the aforesaid mountains are rather far apart: air drag will be quite a factor. |
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//the aforesaid mountains are rather far apart// at
the moment. |
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//a trampoline on the ISS could serve to deflect the satellite into an orbital path. |
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I was thinking something more like a large cricket bat on swivels, with cables into the space station. "the bowler is coming up to position at 50,000 feet...crickey,it's a bouncer 1,2,3 and...yes a perfect hit, it's a 6 (geo-stationary orbit over Sri Lanka).." |
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Just don't ask me what would constitute a LBW.. |
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My first thought was "Nope, a Yeti won't fit in a Vulcan cockpit", but I see I misunderstood. |
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Aha, but this is a specially adapted Vulcan with a large cockpit for Yeti. |
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Unfortunately it was a bit of a waste of time "No, no, pull back on the joystick if we're going to stall..trust your instruments....and stop trying to eat the altimeter".. |
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So they have been relegated to just pushing the duty free trolley down the aisles. |
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Amazing how much perfume you can shift when the sales team are 800lb anthropoids with very pointy teeth... |
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