Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Wrestling Sound Effects Guys

No more thigh slapping!
  (+11, -1)(+11, -1)
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Pro wrestlers are faced with the same challenge every night- trying to "sell" their matchup and make the battle appear as real as possible.

Unfortunately, the wrestlers themselves are forced to make their own sound effects, including thigh-slapping and mat-stomping, which are quite visible to the audience.

Instead, the wresting organizations need to hire a Hollywood sound effects team to stand at ringside and add in more realistic sounding effects. Since even live events have a 20 - 30 second broadcast delay, the team has plenty of time to work with the broadcast van to sync the sound effects to the moves.

Sounds could include: Celery snapping during arm twisting and leg torquing moves.. Leather straps whipping a side of beef for chops, punches and kicks.. 3 Stooges sounds for eye gouges and other gag moves.. Fruit smashing for powerbombs and pile drivers.. Things dropping in custard while dazed wrestlers stumble wobbly-legged around the ring...the possibilities are endless.

Soundboards could also be used, along with carts and other tricks of the trade.

Mr Burns, Aug 15 2002

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       I did think perhaps you were going to employ off-season tennis players (male and female)
po, Aug 15 2002
  

       How'd you do that?!
FarmerJohn, Aug 15 2002
  

       po: I think your anno is the only one that should really be here.. or is it? I really tried to think what tennis players could offer to the sound effects department, other than a constant whining sound..
Mr Burns, Aug 15 2002
  

       Rather than Hollywood, I would suggest hiring the guys who do the martial arts films.
DrCurry, Aug 15 2002
  

       I never know quite how to address you Mr? thcg   

       there have been complaints about the grunts that tennis players make? hence my remark. you already have my croissant BTW.
po, Aug 15 2002
  

       I didn't even think about that... they do, don't they? URG! (whack) UGH! (whack) URG! (whack)
Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002
  

       This gets my croissant, simply because when I read the first line, I thought it said, "Po wrestlers".
salachair, Aug 16 2002
  

       The Foley guys on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" dub the voice noises onto the fight scenes, using people they refer to as 'grunt doubles' (except for SMG herself, whose voice is apparently too distinctive).
angel, Aug 16 2002
  

       Hanna Barbera should shirley put much effort into this. All sorts of clangs, beyoiiioiiioiiing and dung sounds are mandatory for wrestling. A suitably cartoony croissant on its way, as soon as I can ... ooph ... clang ... beyoiioiioiing.
PeterSilly, Aug 16 2002
  

       Wrestling looks fake enough.. it needs real sounds to make it at least halfway believable.. Cartoon sounds would be hilarious, tho.. The ACME product noises on looney tunes would also add to the fun..
Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002
  

       We could also dub on those effects from the 60's Batman TV series. Wrestler A gets wrestler B into alarming position, then "OUCH" or "DOINK" appears in cartoony letters right over the action.
PeterSilly, Aug 16 2002
  

       \ | / \ | /
>BIFF!< >POW!<
/ | \ / | \
  

       OK, so I'm not so good at the ascii stuff..
Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002
  

       //Wrestling Sound Effects Guys //   

       I think it's cruel trying to wrestle people who are trying to make an honest wage from making sound effects.   

       I've a friend who is a sound effect guy (sl. noise-boy)and I wouldn't want to wrestle him.
Mayfly, Aug 16 2002
  

       Hire Michael Winslow (Police Academy I thru 7) to do all the sound effects. Have microphone, will marvel!
Canuck, Aug 26 2002
  

       I'd rather see Michael Winslow get beaten up by a gigantic pro wrestler (who will genuinely hurt him, while cursing "You shoulda stopped after number 1 - now I'm gonna make you pay").
Jinbish, Aug 26 2002
  
      
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