Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Work Testimonial

 Work Testimonial 10 Years Hard Service
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On the day of working for your company for 10 years then you should earn everybodys wages for that day, tax free. Anyone who isnt an employee coming into your work should have to pay to come into the workplace, which would be put in your pay packet aswell.
—ginge, Aug 03 2001

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       Do you mean a) you get that amount as a bonus (in which case i) baked, and ii) where does the money come from?), or b) everyone else compulsorily donates that day's wage to you (in which case putrid fish carcass)?
Also, in what sense is this a testimonial, other than of the fact that you have worked there ten years (which you already know)?
—angel, Aug 03 2001
   

       I suspect I know someone who's been with a company 9 years, 11 months and a few weeks...
—phoenix, Aug 03 2001
   

       Let me know the date so I can celebrate it by taking the day off.
—beauxeault, Aug 03 2001
   

       I suppose you also realize that any company with more than 3652 employees will have one of these payouts *every day* so that nobody would earn *anything* except on their 10th anniversary, or there will be many payout days where the payees have to share the bonus, and will end up suing the company for having hired them the same day as someone else.
—beauxeault, Aug 03 2001
   

       Why not actually have a football match in your honour after ten years, with all employees turning up and paying a fiver to watch two teams of middle management kick seven bells out of each other. The guest of honour gets the gate receipts, and everyone gets to see their boss bleeding and trampled - not to mention active for once.
—Redbrickterrace, Aug 03 2001
   

       I think this might actually be close to a rant.   

       For those that are unaware, this is a reference to the practice in football (soccer) of giving a player a testimonial match if he has stayed with the club for 10 years. All proceeds from that match are given to the player, and they are exempt from tax. There has been some furore of late because Ryan Giggs of Manchester United has just had his testimonial and is reportedly going to make a million, tax-free, from it.   

       The testimonial began when players weren't so well paid as they are today, and this charitable act would come near the end of their playing career, giving them some money on which to either retire, or to find their feet in another profession. Nowadays, players at the top of the profession are earning £50k+ PER WEEK, so it hardly seems necessary to also give them a tax-free windfall if they manage to stay with one club for 10 years ...   

       I feel that ginge perhaps feels that the average worker is also due a similar recompense for company loyalty, or even that this worker (let's call him ginge) is more deserving of said accolade than someone who turns up 3 or 4 times a week to work for a couple of hours before driving home to his mansion in his Porsche.
—Rodomontade, Aug 03 2001
   

       simple solution to the football testimonial - since everyone (fans, I mean) likes the match because classic players turn up and it's a reasonably sort of festive occasion, why not make it a charity testimonial (I can't believe that's not baked). So instead of Giggs getting the millions from it, some charity of his or the club's choice gets it. And it's not only tax free, it could be tax-recharged from the Inland Revenue since it is people spending their already-taxed money on tickets to the thing.
—lewisgirl, Aug 03 2001
   

       Thanks for the clarification, rodomontade. The idea makes a lot more sense than it did before.
—beauxeault, Aug 03 2001
   

       I get you, Rodomontade. Now, we take our benefits by hours of service instead of years--with the exception of our 'open enrollment' period for voluntary changes to our benefit profile.   

       This is all so complicated if one chooses to be circumspect in one's own paranoa, but suppose that a company routinely administratively reassigned a component of its workforce near their anniversary dates. The result of the shorter period brought on by clocking hours of service instead of years of service would be the mass reassignment of lower level employee prior to their supervisors; that is, unless the supervisors were completing billable hours rather than clock hours -- help me PeterSealy -- in which case the middle management would be first to spring their move. The second scenario would make for a real poor showing of players on one's anniversary kickoff. There is also the moral hazard to the firms legal compliance system stemming from faster tenure made available to management based on its billing vs. showing.
—reensure, Aug 03 2001
   

       The reference to soccer (thanks, [Rodomontade]) explains perfectly why this idea made no sense to me at all. By that analogy, should you not be awarded your employers' turnover for the day?
—angel, Aug 06 2001
   

       Re PeterSealy's annotation: I have it on good authority that Tower Records (in New York City anyway) routinely dismisses entry-level employees immediately before their six month evaluation periods, i.e. right before they're due to start enjoying benefits such as health insurance.
—snarfyguy, Aug 07 2001
   


 

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