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WonderBag
How to avoid losing valuables in your handbag | |
Sorry 8th of 7, this is a girl thing, - you wouldn't understand, but DrCurry might.
You know how it is, you thought your handbag was the safe place to put that winning raffle/lottery ticket, then when you need it, it's vanished into another dimension. So for all those girls who sometimes wonder if their
handbags have turned into portals to a parallel universe, this is what you've been waiting for. They are specially limited to 3 dimensions only, and have had their minds removed and kept in suspended cogitation.
'Wonderbags' have special padding to push all your stuff into the middle of the bag so you always know where to find it. They can also help keep the bags shape when you need to take your pet hamster shopping for nuts. Of course in those circumstances you might want to use the optional absorbent padding with built-in air-freshener, for an additional fee of £20.
Ordinary handbags can be converted into 'Wonderbags' for an exorbitant fee by Prof. Wonderwallet at:
http://money-for-old-bags.com
Not quite the same. Annos include 8th-of-7-standard-anti-handbag-rant for reference. [8th of 7, Oct 17 2004]
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Croissant for that first sentence. |
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"We don't understand....." |
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Ask DrCurry, she'll know, I mean... oops. (runs away and hides) |
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What you need is, instead of one large handbag, thousands of tiny handbags with room for only one object each. No more searching a bag for hours. Just open it and there's your lottery ticket/lipstick/hamster/Newcomen engine. |
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Fishbone for assuming that DrCurry cares about handbags. Now, where did snarfy go, I have a new baseball bat to test... |
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<insert melee sound effects here> |
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[DrCurry]: What if it was a handbag made out of a rat's ass? |
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But DrC, where do you keep all your lipstick and tissues and stuff when you go out of an evening? |
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Out of an evening what? dress? |
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I gave a rat's ass at the office. |
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//They are specially limited to 3 dimensions only//
That's a good thing. Nothing like a four-dimesional handbag to lose your lottery tickets into! (And two dimensional handbags just don't carry as much as you think they should!) |
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//and have had their minds removed and kept in suspended cogitation.//
um... we are talking handbags here, right? |
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//They are specially limited to 3 dimensions only// Would that be including the time-dimension? No - oh no wonder things disappear instantly. |
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We men have a simpler solution. Our hand-bags (we call them rucksacks, because it's more manly) often have a zippered mini-pocket and D-ring or clip sewn into the lining near the top. If it's valuable, it'll fit into the pocket or you can tie it onto the clip. |
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//um... we are talking handbags here, right?// |
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Oh yes, surely you know handbags have minds of their own? |
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