h a l f b a k e r y"Bun is such a sad word, is it not?" -- Watt, "Waiting for Godot"
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Drinking wine is really, really good. I mean, it just is,
isn't
it? And the HalfBakery is also really, really good.
However, I have over the years noticed a problem. It is
very difficult to read the screen on a computer through a
wineglass. This means that, every three or four seconds,
my perusal of the HB is interrupted as I raise the glass
and
sup therefrom.
Obviously, I could take larger gulps at longer intervals,
but
this would be vulgar.
It strikes me that humanity ought to be able to do better
than this, and I believe it can.
My computer is equipped with a webcam, which ought to
be able to detect when my face is distorted by the
refraction of an intervening wineglass and its contents.
Since my actual face does not change, it should be a
straightforward matter to deconvolute the trans-
wineglass
image of my face as seen by the webcam, and map it to
the undistorted* image of my face.
By applying this mapping in reverse, thencefore, it
should
be possible to adapt the computer's display to
compensate, in realtime,
for the distortion caused by the wineglass. This would
enable me to view an undistorted HB during intervals of
imbibulation.
[*relatively speaking]
Pretend_20everythin..._20someone_20French
[calum, Jun 27 2014]
a much better solution - a wine drinking hat!
http://fancy.com/th...oda-Drinking-Helmet
[xandram, Jun 27 2014]
Curved neck beer bottle
Curved_20neck_20beer_20bottles
A working class solution for working class people with a similar problem. [AusCan531, Jun 27 2014]
For [bungston]'s short-sightedness
http://maine-aim.or...creen-magnification
[Skewed, Jun 29 2014]
Medusa Proof Goggles
Basically a 2-inch periscope [ytk, Jun 29 2014]
[link]
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OK, which damned fool bunned this? |
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Would this require any alteration to the
conventional arrangement of gravity? |
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I'll have my personal trainer look into this. |
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Get one of those new fangled Google Glass gadgets. In fact, is that
why they are called this? |
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[Denholm]!!!! Owner of my favourite HB username.
Why are you not here more often? |
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Incidentally, I have just noticed that you are missing
a "k". I have a spare one if you need it. |
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The simpler solution would be to switch to champagne.
After all, a chance to visit the Halfbakery is a cause
for celebration, is it not? |
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You may have to apply additional settings to compensate for the differences in the kinds of glass you use for different wines. |
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// switch to champagne// I did, in 1971. |
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//additional settings to compensate for the
differences in the kinds of glass// Ah, but no.
Because the algorithm constantly compares the
webcam view of my face with a stored image of
my face, it can apply adaptive corrections in
realtime, irregardless of the shape of the glass. |
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(Incidentally, red wines may require a laser-
augmented enhanced monitor.) |
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Well, if you're finally sure you're committed to the
change, it might be high time to invest in some
champagne flutes, which will have the side benefit of
obviating the problem entirely. |
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Ok, I was meant to be heading for that large soft downy thing in the other room, but I couldn't resist. |
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It all seems a bit excessive when there's such a simple remedy readily available. |
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Have you perchance considered the option of a simple straw, or maybe a beer hat with its attendant integral straw suitably refilled with Chablis (or tipple of choice)? |
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And now I really am going. |
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//Have you perchance considered the option of a
simple straw// |
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Drinking wine through a straw can lead you to misjudge
the amount you are consuming, causing inebriation
much more quickly than you might expect.
Nevertheless, [Max] probably finds the prospect too
gauche to even consider. |
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In the netherlands it is a widely held belief that if you drink wine or beer through a straw, you get more drunk quicker. |
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Nobody knows why. I can now start telling people why, thanks to you ytk |
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We drink wine and beer through straws at carnaval when we wear a mask. |
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Otherwise it is not done, a faux pas. And this idea is all about class anyway |
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We need to be careful here:
(1) there is a possibility that MaxwellBuchanan is taken by any semi-literate shagbag who might trundle by as endorsing wine-drinking as a whole, when clearly (assuming he has not taken leave of his senses) he is endorsing drinking only good quality wines made in one or other of a limited number of European states;
(2) there is a possibility that even in discussing the idea of drinking wine through a straw, the same s.-l. s.b. might form the opinion that drinking wine through a straw is something That Is Done. Which it is not, except, perhaps by the lower orders when on holiday in lower order holiday resorts and even then it is a thing done and not the done thing. |
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//it is a thing done and not the done thing// |
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<Removes straw from mouth> |
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I like what you said better, same thing, but more elegantly put. |
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//drinking only good quality wines made in one or other of
a limited number of European states// |
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That sort of snobbish attitude is engendered from
ignorance. Many elitist wine consumers will insist that the
best wines are from France. But like those who falsely
reason that for true pizza you must go to Italy (pizza, of
course, being a New World import), they are completely
overlooking the fact that what we know as modern wine
was introduced to the west by Islamic traders from its
native home in China. Sure, the Greeks and Romans
enjoyed a sort of “wine”, but it was really nothing more
than a fermented mash made up of whatever fruits and
vegetables were on their way out. The concept of growing
grapes for the express purpose of producing wine was
utterly unknown to the ancients. |
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In actual fact, China is home to some of the finest wines
known to man (few are aware that “Pinot Grigio” is a Gallic
corruption of “peng nao gli xiao”, or “delicate golden
summer vine”). This is the reason why even the diviest
Chinese restaurants frequently have extensive wine lists,
and many Chinese immigrants to Western countries find
their first job as a sommelier. |
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Whereas the Chinese have been growing grapes and
producing wines for nearly two millennia, the first true
vineyard in France wasn't even established until 1806—prior
to that, winemaking was strictly a hobby for most people.
Now, of course, they (in their typically French fashion) have
hogged most of the limelight on the world stage for having
done relatively little. But any serious wine enthusiast will
not only know the difference between the various Yangtze
varietals, but have a strong opinion on what type of meals
you should serve a Guangdong with. |
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"Looks up through her misty wine glass and waves
frantically at [DenholmRicshaw], long time no see."
Well it looks like *I* can see through my wine glass.
That's because it's invisible wine, naturally. |
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Hello [MB] - missing a 'k' - I'm OK thanks as that wouldn't work as an anagram of my name. |
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Regarding the consumption of wine through a
straw - I'm not sure that's even possible but, if it
is, it should be banned. |
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Regarding the provenance of wines - chacun a son
gout. Personally, I like Italian whites and French
reds (champagne aside). Detest Australian and
Californian whites, but quite like many of their
reds. Prefer a prosecco to a champagne by a
whisker, and am fairly partial to mid-range cavas.
Will kill for good port. |
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Howevertheless, all wines and wine glasses seem
to have similar refractive indices, permitting a
universal firmware computer viewing solution. |
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Wine through a straw is indeed very possible, I use one of those flash curly ones with different colours all along it's length... ;) |
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Personally I prefer Bacardi with a generous splash of coke (ice optional depending on the weather). |
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I once had a whisky that tasted of stale cigar ash, apparently it was a very well respected vintage (Is that the right word for whisky?). |
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//Will kill for good port// |
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Now that I can't find fault with, especially when accompanied by a good cheese (a good strong stilton that bites back, the kind you can't buy in a supermarket anymore). |
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[MB] have you not tried the English sparkling whites? I think they beat all the others. |
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English sparkling whites are often superb, but not
easy to find, alas. |
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I hate opening a bottle of wine only to find that
they've been over-generous with the sulphites. I
never understand why some producers add so much
that you can smell the HS, in a product which is all
about taste and smell. |
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An excellent reason for sticking to champagne is
that, though it contains sulphites, they don't clash
with its natural smell. |
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//Ok, I was meant to be heading for that large soft
downy thing in the other room...// |
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That's just gross. Get a woman/man. |
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//I once had a whisky that tasted of stale cigar ash,
apparently it was a very well respected vintage (Is that
the right word for whisky?).// |
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Ah, that would no doubt be Scotch, and yes, the cigar
ash taste (actually, peat) is the primary feature of said
whisky. |
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Waitrose has a great selection and delivers to your door. |
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A great selection of what? |
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//That's just gross. Get a woman/man.// |
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I have no comeback for that that would be remotely as funny :D |
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//the cigar ash taste (actually, peat) is the primary feature of said whisky// |
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Couldn't they find anything else to flavour it with? |
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<Shrugs> Clearly my pallet isn't 'sophisticated' enough to appreciate true quality. |
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Either that or it's an example of the principle of pricing a product really high @ work (price it high enough & no matter how bad (some) people will believe it must be good if it's so expensive). |
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<'Pass the sweet sherry will you, is my chilli kebab ready yet?'> |
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The whole point of a selection is that you decide what, not the person offering the selection. Please do try harder, it makes everyone’s lives easier. |
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The silver spoon idea makes sense and is an
excellent suggestion. |
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There's probably a market for ornate little silver
objects that can be dropped into the wine bottle. |
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Regardless of the cause, winemakers need to do
something about it. If it's due to less oxygen-
permeable seals, then they need to reduce their
sulphite levels accordingly. If a sommelier
insisted on farting in my face, I'd take my custom
elsewhere. |
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Or just make it yourself from scratch... |
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Granddad used to do a passable elderberry (his comfrey & polo-mint was a bit strange though) & I fondly remember a very pleasant strawberry wine from a friend of the family. |
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// I fondly remember a very pleasant strawberry
wine// |
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Two points.
(a) If you can remember it, it can't have been that
pleasant.
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(a) oh but it was - I think you mean 'strong' when you say 'pleasant'? |
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Having said that it did have a kick, 2 glasses felt like a couple of double vodkas (so four vodkas then), but light / deceptive, somehow the alcohol barely showed in the flavour. |
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Oh dear. Please would someone ring up Buchanan
Manor and inform the butler that he shall presently
have need to roll His Lordship onto his side? And ask
him to have the stomach pump at the ready, just in
case. Not the good one for company—the one Great
Aunt Clairidge left after her last “visit” will do fine. |
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I knew I was going to regret that. |
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I gave myself 10/90 odds you'd had a typo or would say that, still couldn't help asking though. |
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//Regarding the consumption of wine through a straw |
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<barbarian>I do seem to recollect being at a warehouse party drinking Rosé champagne from the bottle with a bendy straw back in my youth... |
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It's surprisingly difficult to find a straw long enough to avoid all that bilge pump noise trying to the get the last bit out of the bottom of a champagne bottle. |
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NB "China's Xinjiang Autonomous Region have an ancient history of viticulture going back to around the 4th Century BC, when Greek settlers brought the vine and more advanced irrigation techniques...." |
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If I'm perfectly honest I barely ever bother with a straw, to thin, you can never get an adequate flow rate. |
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I usually just pour it directly from bottle to mouth, much more efficient, & less chance of any wasteful dripage or spillage than a glass (no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to get my mouth round an entire wine glass & form an adequate seal to avoid any leakage), I find a bottle neck is both larger than a straw (providing a more satisfactory speed of transfer) yet not so large I can't get my mouth round it, perfect. |
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It saves on washing up too, which is a bonus ;) |
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Focus people! Focus!
Which is what this idea is about. At the root:
can one alter a digital image such that it
corrects for deficiencies or abnormalities in the
viewer's eye? |
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Max's idea here uses a wine glass. But suppose
my problem was nearsightedness, due to
advanced age, and I refuse to wear glasses on
principle. Could I alter my monitor display such
that it serves as glasses? |
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"Yes" reply the wags; use that + key and make it
bigger. Ho ho; it is to laugh. But the principle
of the thing: if one perceives a standard display
as blurry for whatever reason, could one tweak
it until it becomes unblurry? |
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Not sure but I think that may be a different problem, the wine glass distorts the image, the short-sightedness is a lack of / too weak a focus? |
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You can get lenses to fit over your screen (a direct you to Blade Runner & Brazil (the film) for examples) which would fix that one. |
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This idea needs a big injection of information
theory and Shannon-related stuff.
The
transformation of the image by the wine glass is
'lossy' - i.e. information is lost in the
transformation. This could be, for example,
because a particular ripple of the glass causes
points in the image (of [Max]'s face) at A and B to
both look like they're at point C. Thus information
has been lost - reversing the path of the light and
illuminating point C will just cause points A and B
to be equally illuminated - it won't reconstruct
what should have been at points A and B. This is
why (I am told) there is no way of reconstructing
the image of your attractive neighbour showering
from the blurred and broken-up image of them
seen through their frosted-glass bathroom
window.
Oh yes, and of course the
webcam would have to be simultaneously in the
same position as every pixel in the computer
monitor to 'see' the transformation from that
position.
Apart from these minor
shortcomings, a great idea. |
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/wonders what Bliss's one hand is hitting to make
the noise.../ |
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Thank you hippo. The frosted glass and concept
of "lossy" image degradation is good. If I can
correct my vision with lenses in front of my eye, I
conclude that distortions of image due to
deficiencies in my eye are not lossy. |
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Another illustration relevant here is a microscope.
Suppose the professor, viewing a slide without his
glasses, beckons me to take a look. He moves
aside and I look but must refocus because it is a
blur. He has used the lens of the microscope to
correct his vision. Similarly one could put a lens
in front of an analog TV to make it appear
differently as Skewed points out. |
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With a digital image you could change the image
itself. "Focusing" the rendering of a digital image
so it would appear to have travelled thru the
appropriate corrective lens? If this can be done I
have not seen it. |
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A very neat application of this idea is non
3dglasses 3d rendering. Currently if I play a video
game and something is supposed to recede away
from me, it gets smaller. But if there are
algorithms governing rendering of focus of items
at different distances (for example farsightedness
correction) it could get smaller but also change
focus. I must change focus as well to track it or it
becomes blurry. When watching a ball move away
in real life this eye focus change is automatic. I
bet it would be with a digital image as well. |
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Air pockets, alright? lOUD and DEEP BOOMING NOISE. |
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Just had a thought… Could this be a “practical”
application for my inaugural idea, Medusa Proof
Goggles? (linky) |
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