h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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The other day, it was sufficiently warm in this sceptred
isle
for me to actually put my car's top down. I drove with
that
sense of smugness that is available only to drivers of
convertibles in warm weather.
It occurred to me, though, that full top-down-ness is not
really essential. The
only difference between driving
with
the roof up, and driving with the roof down, is the wind
burbling over the top of the windscreen and messing
with
your hair.
At the same time, convertible cars tend to be more
expensive than their non-convertible brethren, because
of
the extra complexity and the extra strength needed in
the
car's lower body.
Proposed, hencefore, is the Windscreen Quarterlight.
Quite simply, this is an openable section that involves
the
topmost two or three inches of the windscreen. With
the
Windscreen Quarterlight and the rear windows open, the
full burblage of the oncoming wind will be free to tousle
your hair, giving you the exhilaration topless driving at a
price affordable to the unwashed masses.
(And yes, [8th], I am well aware that the Series I
Landrover has openable sections designed by
Fotherington-Bullthrope in his revision of the earlier
design by Bullstrode, as requested for use by troops
stationed in Myanmar; and that those openable sections
were themselves cribbed from the design of the 1932
Great Western locomotives manufactured at the
Blithwick works; but they are at the bottom of the
windscreen, and fail to achieve the necessary hair-
burblage.)
That is all. The remainder of this idea is intentionally
blank.
For when your bug supply is interrupted by events...
Bike_20Beauty_20Bugs
[normzone, Sep 09 2016]
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Annotation:
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(horses rear and whinny in background) |
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Wouldn't the wipers get hung up while traversing the
(presently closed) Windscreen Quarterlight? |
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Couldn't the same effect be got from having an
air-conditioning vent in the roof of the car to
provide
the required hair-tousling? If necessary, a UV light
could also be installed to give the concomitant
characteristic
convertible car sunburn. |
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//Wouldn't the wipers get hung up while traversing
the (presently closed) Windscreen Quarterlight?//
Hmmm. That's a point I hadn't considered. |
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//air-conditioning vent// possible, but then the car
would have to carry a small container of insects that
could be injected at random into the airflow, for the
full effect. |
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//the car would have to carry a small container of
insects// - surely a small robot arm can pluck
insects from the car's air filter? This would
preserve the 'terroir' of the experience as it would
ensure that the insects injected into the airflow
were appropriate for the vegetation, region and
weather you were driving through. |
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[hippo], your place on MaxCo's Design and Recall
team is secure. |
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You could always remove the windscreen entirely, and wear
some stylish aviator goggles. Throw in the leather cap and
scarf as well... |
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Or maybe a windscreen that retracts downwards partway
into the cowl. The HVAC system might need some
tweaking... |
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//remove the windscreen entirely// The problem
with that approach is that, when driving at any speed
above 40 miles per hour, a Silk Cut lasts about 14
seconds. |
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^ This info could find its way onto those cigarette packages:
"Always Use A Windscreen". |
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