h a l f b a k e r yAsk your doctor if the Halfbakery is right for you.
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So newborns are never mixed up in the maternity ward write their mothers full name on their forehead in permanent marker (it only lasts a few days really) and no babies will ever be mixed up again and people will know which baby is theirs when they're gawking at it through that baby viewing window.
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Isn't the risk of a mix-up part of the fun? You could end up winning big and taking home a baby much better than the one you produced on your own. |
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Never mix apostrophes up again. |
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The birth of Albania's first Gaeilge speaking Maori immigrant's son only caused widespread panic after they wrote her name (Gjashtë Sé Ono) on his forehead... |
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Or the hexen version, "Which witch's which"? |
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......... Why not, quest? I've been thinking about those babies for a long time now. I wonder if their skin is more sensitive to temperature, and if they can use crayons on themselves, and if any great painters were of this disposition and it eventually led to their toxic death... I wonder if they have nightmares about their nemesis ink and if you can get them to rat their friends out just by waving a sharpie in front of them. I wonder if they even have dreams. |
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[admin: fixed name, but I had to think about it. Thanks, csea.] |
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Was this prompted by the recent rerun of the "This American Life" story about two children, mixed-up at birth, learning the truth about their biological families after 40 years? |
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I would like this, just because it would make newborn wards more interesting to look at. Screw names, let the mother doodle whatever she likes, like a participant in a magic trick signing the item that will miraculously reappear. |
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(Otherwise, what 21 Quest said.) |
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Intrauterine tattos, anyone? (I know, I know, if they all say "mom" we're back to step 1.) |
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I am skeptical about the ability of the average parent to generate a doodle of sufficient coolness to serve this role. People who come into the ED after a trauma are sometimes assigned a trauma name by a computer because no-one knows their real name. A similar program could generate a Birth Glyph, which would be cooler than what the mother might doodle. The Birth Glyph might come in handy later for Glyph Rings, Glyph shirts, cryptic signatures and other things after birth. |
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To be clear there could be a seperate After Birth Glyph to keep the afterbirths straight as well. |
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Re bracelets: Bah. Those bracelets are sharp and they dig into the sensitive babby skin. Also somewhat déclassé. No, glyphs are it. |
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Isn't someone going to post a solution involving RFID tags? |
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Are you sure the the mouther could not come up with a nice doodle?
If they had an epidural who knows what you will get. |
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How about simply making DNA testing manditory before leaving the hospital. "...Mary Jones, in the case of 2 day old Amber, you are NOT the mother!" |
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This won't help a lot. The hospital is just as likely to mix up
the mothers as the babies, leaving you back at square one. |
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What about stickers? You could use a modified price-tag to note the baby's mother, time of birth, &c. &c., and just stick it on as soon as the little fellow's dry. Maybe on the top of their heads, for easy readability, and to make sure it doesn't peel it off and eat it. |
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