h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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As you enter the packed elevator everything seems to be quite normal. As soon as it starts to ascend, every member inside slowly begins to whirl on the spot, building up speed and slowing again to a standstill when reaching the next floor. Patrons stand on small circular discs on the ground which are
activated when the elevator has movement.
For an alternative 'twist', each disc has a corresponding number marked on it, and when you stand on it you enter into the keypad the number and the floor you are going to. Once the elevator starts, you will continue to spin until you reach your floor - no matter how many times it stops in between. This way, when exiting the elevator, you will now who is getting out or not getting out - depending on whether they are still whirling.
This technology would also be perfect for people standing on buses, trains, trams or for in use at line ups in shops, banks, doctor's offices etc.
A portable battery operated whirling dervish platform could also fit neatly into your briefcase, for those moments when spinning seems neccessary.
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Wow. More fun than a Wilson Pickett concert. |
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'...But Bill, this isn't our floor.'
'I'm getting off, anyway. I'm so sick I'm not certain this is my building.' |
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man standing in doorway: 'Going up?'
dizzy rider: 'Which way is up?' |
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Why would you do this? Just seems like a good way to make yourself sick to me... |
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<aside> Welcome back Mr. [Pickels] </a> |
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pickels! where would we be without you? |
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Same place as without him. Still here, in the 'bakery. |
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Ugh, I get lightheaded and nauseated from riding in my office building's elevators as it is. I don't know why. Other elevators don't make me feel like that. |
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//A portable battery operated whirling dervish platform// Doubly pointless. Whirling is easy and fun, and certainly doesn't require a mechanism. |
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// where would we be without you? //
A little further up the evolutionary ladder. |
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When you started in with "packed elevator," I thought this was going to be a Gravitron-type thing that made the whole elevator spin to compress the contents and make more room in the center... |
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pointless? how dare you sir! this invention is of great importance to the decadent western empire! |
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i see spiralling dervishes everywhere, and why should I have to spin myself when the marvels of electric or battery power can do it for me? |
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Is that anything like Queensbury rules? |
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//why should I have to spin myself when the marvels of electric or battery power can do it for me?// |
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why should I have to have sex with a woman when the marvels of electric or battery power can do it for me? |
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Live as you like, love as you like, in the science controlled playground of the future - Westworld (1973) |
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I've just found this and have voted in favour. A cunning addition would be to have the whole lift shake up and down vertically (A La Cocktail Shaker) as it travels between floors. Thus providing your breakfast with a three dimensional work-out. |
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The walls would have to be wipe-clean, and you can't have carpet in the corridors. |
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I was thinking of a similar idea - the Chubby Checker-powered elevator. Each occupant stands on a twist-disk electrical generator and powers the lift by their early 60s dance moves, and stays trim and fit. Of course, I haven't worked out how the lift can go up without any occupants. |
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