h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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Massive sculptures of halfbakers past (and others such as
gods of rock, famous statesmen and kings and queens, for a
fee) made from environmentally responsible materials like
worm castings.
The sculptures will be treated with impervious coatings so
they last at least 10 generations, to be
remembered by future
citizens. I'm thinking something around 150ft tall, like the
Statue of Liberty, without the pedestal.
To be placed in readily accessible locations around the world,
for the enjoyment and quiet contemplation of their followers
and groupies.
2000 year old Sri Lankan toilets for [neelandan]
http://www.scenicsr...y-of-sri-lanka.html
Nothing like modern western ones - just a slab of stone with raised foot rests and a waste channel. [spidermother, May 01 2011]
French toilet for [spidermother]
http://2.bp.blogspo...a_french_toilet.jpg
Is France western? [bungston, May 02 2011]
Patalexically
http://www.namedeve...maceutical/2008/04/
"In Zulu, the word PATA when repeated as PATA PATA is slang for sexual intercourse" [normzone, May 04 2011]
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I always thought Mt.Rushmore looked a bit bare... |
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I'm fairly sure that the most environmentally responsible materials with which to make something that lasts a long time are long-lasting materials, such as concrete, titanium, or bronze. |
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Using worm castings like this is totally missing the point of how worm castings can be environmentally responsible. (If you were being ironic, then my irony filters are not at the correct setting today.) |
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I read somewhere (Make Magazine?) that the longest lasting artifacts were something commonplace, of common use, like a water vessel. |
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Made of a long-lasting material like granite. |
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I've decided to carve a few and leave around for posterity. |
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I saw some ancient carved (granite?) toilets in Sri Lanka, at the museum - thousands of years old, apparently. They were left around for posteriority. |
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Then toilets it shall be. |
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"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings … look on my turds, ye
mighty, and despair …" |
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I figured that it's OK to leave your mark, so long as it
can be removed through diligence and proper
hygiene, later. |
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I also like the fact that bronze castings and worm
castings ought to be similar, with one of them bound
to leave a greener lawn than the other. |
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I was with you until you threw in those those gods of rock and kings and queens. |
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One for Victor Frankenstein looking a bit kneek...seeing as he had been beaten by his creation at draughts (twice), chess (3 times), noughts and crosses (27 times) and finally hopscotch. |
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Kneek is that nagging feeling you get when having produced some artificially intelligent being, that whilst one of you is destined for the appearance on Oprah, lucrative books deals, a long career doing consultancy work for the Department of Defence and finally retiring to a villa overlooking the Mediterranean on generous benefits it's not going to be the one currently wearing a lab coat. |
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<applause> But it's OK, 'cause the one wearing the lab coat is
supposed to be a dispassionate seeker of truth who wishes
for nothing more in life than that his students should surpass
him. |
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Aach, whatever happened to "You fools ! I'll crush you all, do you
hear me? CRUSH YOU ALL! MUHWHAHAHA! " |
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It's the fault of the Universities. They just aren't turning out the
calibre of deranged geniuses that's needed in your planetary
economy. |
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In what sense //turn out// ? In the sense of "expel" ?
They "turned out" Dr. Chou-En Ginzberg, M.A.
(failed). |
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Precisely. He wasn't notably successful in his chosen career of
International Supervillain, was he? |
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//It's the fault of the Universities. They just aren't turning out the calibre of deranged geniuses...// |
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I blame it on the high fees, not enough left over for that sparky electrical machinery, Igor's wages, those brains in jars etc... and who get the paternity leave, when I do successfully create a new life form? |
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//I’d safely suggest that it appeals to our halfbakery kind
of mentality.// |
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Being unaware till now that such a thing existed, now I'm
afraid of it. |
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That's right, [bliss]. Be afraid … be VERY afraid … |
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/totally missing the point of how worm castings can be environmentally responsible. / |
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Really the problem is the multiple epoxy coatings. These edifices should be made of unremediated castings, with a constant daily repair required. The problem with these other durable edifices is that they were too good, and people did not need to take care fo them, so the love went out of their hearts. |
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[+] This should be under "Business" |
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I'm sure that [Unabubba] wanted to be a garden gnome instead. |
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More like an antique privy- old, creaky, and full of shit. |
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[MFD] baked, WKTE - Easter island...That's what it was, wasn't it? 1/2 mod 60 bakers convincing newbs/noobs they knew everything? You know, for accuracy... |
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Am I not the only one here who wears a strange cylindrical hat whilst using this site??? |
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//Am I not the only one here who wears a strange cylindrical hat whilst using this site???// Yes ??? (presuming, a huge premise, in this case, that you phrased that hat question correctly). |
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[infidel]. Are you joining the ranks of //Bro was right. You're mostly a pack of arseholes who hide behind screen names.//?... by contributing an idea. You must realise a certain irony in this... |
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Anyway, congrats on your first purile attempt at an idea. And congrats on the timing of this steaming pile of detritus. In light of recent events, no 'baker worth his/her salt would stand against this edification of our past, and present, greats. Fortunately, I am not the salt of the earth. More like a manganese nodule, or a clathrate, trapped deep in the Mariana trench. |
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I take exception to your publisised stance on the nature of the average 'baker.I have neither the patience, nor any proclivity, to wait for the next installment of your psuedo-gratifying "idea" of how to glorify a bunch of arseholes. |
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A mind that can time that kind of polished turd, can surely think of better things. It is time to shit or get off the pot. |
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And just in case you think I am hiding behind a moniker (screen name), fuck you, you (should) know who I am. And if you don't, do a little research on this site and it will lead you straight to me. Caveat emptor: I am (at least as per last poll) twice the arsehole that I have ever been on this site. |
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Take your manky philosophy, disguised by your innate sychophantism, and shove it up your arse. We will ressurect this idea in a more tasteful manner, and if we don't, so be it. |
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"ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee" |
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psst, [4whom], some of your phrasing could be
misinterpreted as a dislike for [infidel]. |
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<Peers cautiously over sandbags> |
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<Elects not to move while debris are still falling> |
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<Rewinds gramophone, puts on 78 of "Lilli Marlene", opens tin of
bully beef> |
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<wonders why he can hear a digging noise underneath him> |
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<the ringing of the division bell has begun> ~ appologies to Pink Floyd. |
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Well, I had "High Hopes"... |
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Let him have it on the noes! |
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Now Googling puerile, manky, syncophantism...Oh my. |
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[Infidel]'s home page does create some doubts as to why he'd want to be here. |
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If we're a pack of arseholes, I presume [infidel] is just passing through. |
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lol [marked-for-category-change] hb: arseholes |
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I thought purile meant it was very pure. |
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Did I miss something here? |
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I think [4whom] took exception to [infidel]'s account page. |
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// Did I miss something here? // |
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Indeed you did; but since the primary strike and the response
were ballistic, they went over everyone else's heads, both
literally and metaphorically. |
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Just tread carefully for a bit, there may be some UXO lying
around. |
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//[Infidel]'s home page does create some doubts as to why
he'd want to be here.// |
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Has anyone considered that he might have been speaking
patalexically? |
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Only you- no-one else can be bothered to look up"patalexically"
on Wikipedia. |
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I've looked it up already but the trail was unclear (link). Give him the fiver. |
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I looked it up but Google told me “Your search - patalexically - did not match any documents”. |
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That's because I used "patalexically" metanomically. |
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Doesn't count, [pom], we specifically mentioned Wikipedia. |
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Come on, [MB], pay up. You can afford it; it just means a couple
of your serfs will have to go without gruel for a week or two.
Besides, didn't your Grandpa teach you to be a good loser. ? |
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I am using the teapot defence on this one. |
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//Has anyone considered that he might have been speaking
patalexically?// My first thought, in fact. However, since he
disappeared
after posting it, I construed it ortholexically. |
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Suddenly realises what's behind the mystery of the Moai on Easter Island... Wonders if Stone'enge an the Pyramids were just primitive methods of bunning the idea. Atlantis
must've posted something worthy of the significant boning it received... |
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{Nips off to start preparations of a burned offering} |
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[4whom], I think it somewhat cute that you imagine I
could give a flying fuck who you really are. If, on the
other hand, you were actually asking me to help you
remember who you are, then you're shit outta luck,
because I still couldn't give a fuck. |
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Gods of rock and kings and queens because the
greater public haven't a clue who or what a halfbaker
might be. |
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If memory serves, this is not infidel's "first attempt at an idea." I seem to recall several rather good ones. Maybe I'm wrong about that? |
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You are right. I posted approximately 20 ideas
previously, [Rayford]. |
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Their disappearance leaves a sorely-needed hole. |
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//{Nips off to start preparations of a burned offering}//
Mrs. MaxwellBuchanan can give you the recipe. |
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at least I'm hiding behind a real screen name..erm, hang on.. |
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You'd be better hiding behind sandbags. Come, join us …don't be
afraid … |
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I was convinced for about a year that we (a select
few of us including your's half truly) were on
the cusp of being realized for our genius and being
given resultant loads of money by a government or
philanthropist to change the world for the better.
I
lost my
job a few weeks later. And had to cut back on the
delusions of grandeur without professional help. + |
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Back in '05, for those keeping score. That's when I
had bad ideas fueled by bouncy interactive
commentary. Nowadays, I just hope a few of you
are reading, cause it's better than telling the jaw
gapped drunks around town. A tad maudlin I know.
Insert a weathered extra bun. I'm not old, but
today I feel a tad so. This place has some damned
history! |
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Welcome back, [infidel], I wondered where you went. |
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Since I am an extraordinarily tall person, I should think my statue would be much taller than 150 feet. Architectural integrity for //at least 10 generations//, whilst simultaneously trying to maintain environmentally friendly materials and construction practices, would require the impervious coating to be very thick indeed... perhaps to the point of obfuscating the underlying worm poop sculpture itself. The entire effect would eventually resemble something akin to a gigantic stalagmite with an aircraft warning beacon perched on top like a cherry. |
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I am therefore thankful that this idea pertains to //halfbakers past//, and the only way I can assure my local community that such an eyesore will not rise up in my neighborhood is to steadfastly remain a "halfbaker present." |
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It has not escaped my attention that, after your sudden disappearance/reappearance into the HB, you actually qualify as both. So, I would imagine that, at a chicken farm somewhere in the world, *half* a worm poop statue will rise up out of the barnyard (I assume the top half of the statue) somewhat resembling the Statue of Liberty as portrayed at the end of the movie "Planet of the Apes." |
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Long story short: Bun [+], as long as I don't have to look at it. |
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Nice blog entry [daseva]. |
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[MaxwellBuchanan]
//sorely-needed hole//
That's how I'd expect you'd feel after the weekend, if [MrsMB] sees your comment! |
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That wasn't a good year for me <Comte de Aglie drinks some more sanatogen tonic wine> |
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"Ou sont les absinthes d'antan? " |
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