h a l f b a k e r yAsk your doctor if the Halfbakery is right for you.
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"What the hell is wrong with you computer?"
"Sorry, Afro, you clogged up my memory with mp3's, animations of stuff blowing up and pictures of really, really stupid things. Oh, and I'm a crappy stupid computer that sucks."
"Thanks computer. You suck."
(??) My Computer Totally Hates Me! / God, Do I Hate That Bitch
http://www.theonion...int_technology.html
[egnor, Apr 07 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
(?) Computer Haiku Error Messages
http://www.scheib.net/play/haiku/
[DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Time Travel back to November 30th 2001
http://web.archive..../pan.rebelbase.com/
Like Rods Tiger said: time travel back to .. (Except, due to inherent nature of time travel, I hit the day after: November 30, 2001) [JackandJohn, Oct 04 2004]
How to fix the ipad display with a hammer
https://www.youtube...watch?v=xWmK2Id4X84
[pashute, Oct 01 2014]
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Annotation:
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[There should be a category for sentences that sound like they should be palindromes, but obviously aren't.]
["plaindrome", lovely. Thanks, td.] |
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Sounds like a loose nut behind the keyboard. |
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A loose connection between the seat and keyboard, or a bad BKA. |
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Jutta: I've seen the term `plaindrome' used for such, but have never seen a reference on the internnet. (All the references Google gives are typos for palindrome.) |
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The irony of this all is that even though I'm pretty sure you first few posters are making fun of me, my computer isn't displaying any more than the first 3 1/2 letters in each annotation |
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thanks, jutta. Peter- I really couldn't care less if you guys know who I am, what color, where I'm from, etc., otherwise I wouldn't have posted my site. I've had a fro, and the name just sort of popped into my head. |
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AA, I'd want mine to be the Tarantino version (2.0). If I'm going to slap the monitor upside the, um, screen (a stupid habit of mine ... like it's the 1960's and I can't get UHF on my b&w Zenith), I want the machine to answer me in appropriate language. |
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"What the f**k is wrong with you, motherf**ker? It was your stupid kid who spilled apple juice on me, asshole. I don't have to take this s**t." <blue screen of death> |
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"This program has performed and illegal operation and will be shut down"..... |
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Hello? 911? My computer is engaging in illegal operations and I don't want to be an accessory to a crime so I would like you to come arrest it.... |
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Reminds me of an haiku error-message email I got a while back--my favorite was
<P>"Yesterday it was working;
today it has stopped
working. Windows is like that." |
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Now you have got something - poetic error messages. |
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Won't tell you what is wrong, but will lift your restless spirit. |
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1percent: my girlfriend has
just suggested that if crumbs
drop into the keyboard, the
computer could say "Mmm. That
is a tasty burger" |
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I am going to have to vote for this idea. Now, mind you, I'm very Win* (and DOS) literate, and I even know a bit of Unix (n00b), so I'm no Vicki, but I concede defeat now. I *need* this. I am reduced to a blathering heap of furiousity with this most recent development. (I also realize this isn't a tech support forum, so I'll refrain) |
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<calmly> "What the hell is wrong with you computer?" "I've been fed on a steady diet of M$ garbage, so what do you expect?" "Oh. Ok, then. At least I don't have to put up with you at home." "Yeah, I'm glad you don't live here too." "Hey, STFU!" <evil laugh> *BSoD* |
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StarChaser, what's a BKA? 8| |
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"Well, first off, Kitsune, I'm a 1995 Macintosh with a 14.4 modem. Just shoot me, OK?" |
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Absterge: "Brain to Keyboard Adapter", aka 'the user'. |
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[added link to haiku error messages, Dog Ed] |
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"My name is Ozymandias, king of
kings. Look upon my works, ye
mighty, and despair!" |
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What does Percy Bysshe Shelley's
sonnet have to do with error
messages? Long before people were
joking on the internet about
poetic error messages, the good
chemists, physicists,
crystallographers and all-round
lunatics at the UWA (that's
University of Western Australia)
were incorporating _real_ poetry
into their XTAL programmes. |
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http://xtal.uwa.edu.au/ozy.html |
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«StarChaser: STFU = shut the f*** up.» |
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Chaos reigns within,
Reflect, repent and reboot -
Order shall return. |
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<computer in slow voice> Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do <CISV> |
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Dog Ed: Haiku is 5/7/5 syllables. Perhaps: |
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Yesterday it worked.
Today it has stopped working.
Windows is like that. |
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My computer recently informed me it was "now revoking last known good." That explains a lot about the state of the world, anyway. |
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I love this. its like a snapshot of history somehow. |
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AA - send a pic of you with afro - pretty please... |
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Haiku error messages relinked, since the first link went away. |
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I hate it when posts go away. |
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STFU: Literally; "Stuff You" |
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(This is lore from the band STFU - people did origionally think that it stood for "Shut The [F**k] Up", but that was not the case.) |
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However, that being said; it may /now/ mean the latter. |
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I agree. Its just bad poetry. |
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Got it from a friend...
On him you can depend...
I found out in the end...
It was a piece of crap - NEIL YOUNG |
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