h a l f b a k e r yIt's not a thing. It will be a thing.
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Whilst listening to a friend blather on about her OCD (a
mild form luckily) I thought of whale scented candles.
General advice on OCD, (which is like OCR, but without the
tassels) is to go relax, whale music and scented candles
etc.
So, why not combine the two and make whale-scented
candles?
Killing two birds with one stone in allowing human
relaxation whilst freeing our oceans from these pesky
buggers eating our food.
Simply harpoon the lot of them, boil 'em down and make
candles from the fat, so providing 100% natural, organic
whale-scented wossernames.
As for the song, that can be done by an mp3 player at the
base of the candle, powered by a peltier thingy near the
wick, or by applying a stethoscope to your own abdomen
when you've skipped a meal.
NB You could achieve this all with minimal effort by simply
strapping cats onto whales and let the Borg sort it out once
and for all.
Wales scented candles
http://giftwarewale...tions/welsh-candles
Close! [pocmloc, Jul 15 2015]
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Pesky whales, coming over here, eating all our string. [+] |
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I understand the fat is liquid at room temperature, hence its traditional use in oil lamps, not candles. |
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This is not good. Funny but not good for the whales. As a
daily candle user I applaud the concept, but cringe at the
actual creation. Ommm... |
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I believe a lot of scents are (or were) "whale scented", as
ambergris is a thing. It doesn't actually involve killing the
whales, however. |
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It's probably more humane to kill one whale for
5000kg of whale fat than it is to press a billion bees
for the same amount of beeswax. |
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I'm trying to convince my friend that her obsession with her ADD is OCD. |
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// the fat is liquid at room temperature, hence its traditional use in oil lamps, not candles. // |
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We aver that baby oil is a massive untapped energy resource. Babies are relatively immobile, have no commercial value, are simple to transport in bulk, and easy to find due to the noise they emit. |
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A pilot plant for pressing babies and extracting the oil would not be expensive to construct and should yield an acceptable ROCE. Siting would need to be close to a nursery or maternity hospital to minimise transportation costs for feedstock. |
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As for whales, yes, boil 'em down. We've never liked the way they slink through woodland in packs, attacking deer and caribou, and howling all the time. |
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Ah [8th], the way you make me laugh twists me all up
inside. |
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//find due to the noise they emit. |
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Which reminds me, I've been working on the very
old jokes. "What's a Greek ...?" was too
simplistic, 2014 figures suggest an average salary of
11,250 Euro per Greek citizen. |
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"My dog has no nose. So how does he smell?" was
a little more complex. The reply should be "Well,
with the best part of 2000 taste buds, and the
vomerolnasal gland in the palate there's ground to
believe that even a dog with no nasal passage at
all would have a reasonable sense of smell". |
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Well, at least you can't be accused of making tasteless jokes ... |
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// twists me all up inside // |
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// You forgot the smell. // |
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No, we haven't. We have tried very, very hard, but it's impossible to forget the disgusting miasma of putrescent odours that surround a human infant and anything it comes near. |
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