Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Weightlessness Ice Skating Support Zamboni

for the best possible ride
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This is a human-body-support-structure that will support an upright human body by balancing on three points at the end of robotic arms, and letting the human hang off the support structure, with their feet not quite dangling above the ground, you could tweak the amount of weight you would want to give the user, so that the human no longer has the need to balance and has effectively become weightless in two dimensions and with a friction-less connection to the ground.

This human, suspended above an ice rink, in a hollow zamboni-like structure, hangs suspended just at the ice's surface, and gently pushes their skates against the ice in lazy zig zags and swirls.

Dutch wheelchair users could use these vehicles as adaptive ice-wheel-chairs that could allow ice skaters with physical disabilities to swerve hundreds of miles along the canals of their country.

The zamboni would also repave the surrounding ice by using a heat laser to melt and refreeze ice down to nanometer specifications.

It doesn't have to be electronic robotic, it can be made of meta-materials.

JesusHChrist, Oct 30 2016

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       Err..what's a zamboni?
not_morrison_rm, Oct 30 2016
  

       It's a type of Sicilian sausage made from pork and olives, usually served thinly sliced on bread.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 30 2016
  

       No you're thinking of zambini. A Zamboni is a kind of upright trombone with an extra valve for E flat.
pocmloc, Oct 30 2016
  

       No, I think its a zombie trombonist in Zanzibar. Either that or an exotic animal from 'On Beyond Zebra.'
RayfordSteele, Oct 30 2016
  

       Hey! Jes was Jewish!! - Why not give some kosher ideas? This wasn't isn't so I can't vote for it. :-(
pashute, Oct 30 2016
  

       //Hey! Jes was Jewish!! //   

       Say what??? I thought the whole point was that Jesus invented religion, and then created the earth on Sunday before turning the loaves into fishes? So, it follows that there can't have been a Jewish for him to be. Surely you mean that Jews are Jesish?   

       Seriously, dude, it's high time that religion got all this stuff sorted out properly.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 30 2016
  

       ^ Nahh, so knock yourself out. Is it battery powered, just out of interest?   

       NB //A Zamboni is a kind of upright trombone   

       SP vertical. The vertical Zambezi allowed anti-aircraft gunners to play and watch the sky for dive-bombers at the same time.
not_morrison_rm, Oct 30 2016
  
      
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