Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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We Love You Thru And Drive-Thru!

A cup of supersized self-esteem for the road
 
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You just had the worst day of all time at work. Rush hour's soaking up the last of your patience. You've had enough and pull over, before realising what you've pulled into - the We Love You Thru And Drive-Thru.

Crowds of onlookers begin whooping & hollering, applauding wildly as they see who's arrived. "We love you! We really love you!" they profess, voices straining under the weight of their passion. Mortified, you pull up to the menu and an overwhelmed fan gushes from the speaker, "We can't believe you're finally here! Have whatever you want, WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, you're amazing! Oh my Gawddd".

"... Well, I guess... I'll have the Tearful Standing Ovation, Raining Confetti, Heartfelt Compliments and an Emotional Film Climax, XL please. Oh why not, throw in Multiple Marriage Proposals too. And a Sense Of Accomplishment"

You round the corner to be greeted by dozens more delirious onlookers, all rooting for you. A group of 250+ well-groomed aristocrats rise from their seats, surrendering their tears to the sight of your beige Fiat Punto. "You're so humble and magnanimous to be driving that car!" someone cries. French models plunge from the crowds on one knee clasping ring boxes, and the violins of the orchestra soar to their highest point as the Town Mayor presents you with a World Record for "Most Loved Person" and a Key to the Universe.

You look above the exit and see your picture, taken as you first drove in, mounted in a decadent gold frame with a profound-looking Latin phrase written underneath. The Royal Airforce performs a surprise flyby in your honour. Someone throws underpants on your windscreen.

Awestruck at your awesomeness, you re-join the traffic and proceed to change the world.

Treejuice, May 29 2019


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Annotation:







       Isn't this just coming home?
MaxwellBuchanan, May 29 2019
  

       "Drive-Thru" not "Drive-By" ?   

       Rather than the framed photo, we suggest handing the customer an autoloading 12-gauge and eight boxes of shells.
8th of 7, May 29 2019
  

       <PA system command> "Bring in the fresh meat. Our awe numbers are down again." </PA system command>
wjt, May 30 2019
  

       //profound-looking Latin phrase//   

       "Augentes Fortuna iuvat" ?
pertinax, May 30 2019
  

       <PA system command>   

       "Bring out the gimp."   

       </PA system command>
8th of 7, May 30 2019
  

       [8th] I don't think you've seen the client.
wjt, May 31 2019
  


 

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