Voodoo Hoover

I have an area of ceiling above my stairs which is about 5 meters from the floor, and well above my reach. And in the corner of said ceiling, is a huge cobweb. Last night, as I stood javelin-throwing a stiff bristled broom at the problem, I realised it was time to halfbake a solution.

Enter the Voodoo Hoover. At the flick of a switch a second hose and nozzle emerge from my vacuum cleaner and begin to extend before my eyes. Probably, snake-charming music will play at this point. Incredibly, it grows to 4 meters long and stays rigid as I lift it to the ceiling and suck up the cobwebs.

“Wow”, I think. “This must be Voodoo”. But before you start to [M-F-you-know-what] I’ll let you in on the clever bit. It’s not magic, magik or voodoo at all. In fact, it’s a bit of simple technology.

When I need to reach a high area, I flick a switch and a valve in my vacuum blows air into the inflatable walls of a hollow tube. Once the tube is inflated firmly enough for it to withstand the force of the vacuum, the valve closes, and the vacuum begins to suck through the middle of the newly formed pipe.

Once the ceiling is clean, and the cobwebs removed, the pipe can be distended at the flick of a switch, and the vacuum now pull the air from the hollow tube walls until it is compact are ready to be tucked back into the side of the machine.

Novelty snake and elephant versions will soon flood the market. There may even be a pink version for Bevis and Butthead types to snigger at.