h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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A cloche is that shiny metal upturned bowl-with-a-handle
thing,
beneath which French-accented waiters (inhabiting only
the fanciest
of restaurants) carry their enplated meals to the table.
Once so
delivered in-front of a valued guest, the cloche is lifted
with a
well timed "Voilà!"-accompanied
flourish, revealing the
delights
beneath. Steam wafts and the dinee and their dinner
experience the
sensual thrill of mutual introduction.
This idea is to recreate that experience at home, by
getting a
regular cloche, and installing some electronics that,
upon liftage,
play one from a sequence of hi-fidelity recordings of only
the very
Frenchest of waiters saying one from a selection of
appropriate
phrases such as "Et voilà!", "Cordon Bleu!" and "Bonne
appétit!"
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Annotation:
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You should not have to lift it yourself! Needs an auto-lifting mechanism at the very least. |
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Could there not also be a rubber rat that jumps
out and lands on someone's lap? |
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As the cloche is lifted (or "as the cloche levitates")
it should also generate clouds
of CO2 vapour and have interior lights to provide
moody lighting of the food |
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And it could play applause, shreiks of delight, and phrases of admiration and praise in outrageously bad accents. |
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... or the theme from Fawlty Towers ? |
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At least the rat was fresh... |
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I was imagining something a little edgier, like the
musical score from "A Clockwork Orange". |
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Beethoven is edgy now ? Who knew, huh ? |
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<Adds a snifter of Ketracel White to glass of Milk Plus/> |
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//the very Frenchest of waiters saying one from a
selection of appropriate phrases such as "Et voilà!",
"Cordon Bleu!" and "Bonne appétit!"//
This
sort of presentation of food is a bit hackneyed and
unoriginal really so, assuming that your cloche is in
the form of a bowed, stringed instrument, should this
idea not be renamed as "Viola Voilà Cloche Cliché"? |
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We did think of "Viola Cloche " as a bell attached to a bowed stringed instrument ... |
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Possibly [hippo], to celebrate, I've commissioned a painting
of one
such arrangement, deciding at the last minute to request an
inclusion of my favourite flowers - the artist just emailed
back with an invoice for one "Gladiola Viola Voilà Cloche
Cliché Giclée". |
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[8th] A cloche on the end of a bow would not look dissimilar
to one of those long-poled candle snuffers from olden times. |
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I propose preserving your painting in sugar as a
piece of witty conceptual art, making a comment about
the essential transience of experience. But what sort
of curtain could you use to shield your
eyes from such an abhorrent object? Maybe a "Vile
Gladiola Viola Voilà Cloche Cliché Glacé Giclée Veil" |
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I can't go any further, I think you got checkmate. This despite my going around the
houses, having tried (and failed) to develop things out of; gammon hamon (a pattern
found only in the most artisanal of formed hams - revealing the boundary between
lean and less-lean cuts of meat), the Fruity Djabouti Flute - a sort of
extravagantly citrus flavoured East-African musical instrument, and a Jelly Brian
Ferry Mould, allowing people to cast 1/6 of Roxy Music in gelatin of their preferred
flavour, none of which even come close to an incorporatable word-pair. |
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I empathise with your improbable impasse... |
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I was going for a cloche of tight 'uns, but couldn't get them out
of the pan. |
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//Maybe a "Vile Gladiola Viola Voilà Cloche Cliché
Glacé Giclée Veil"// - and the low-altitude bit of
landscape in which the structure is where this
veiled artwork is exhibited is called the "Vile
Gladiola
Viola Voilà Cloche Cliché Glacé Giclée Veil Villa
Valley". It's next to the artisinal Indian food shop
run by the ex-TV chef who's also owner of Norwich FC:
"Delia's Delhi Deli"... |
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Here in the US the waiters deftly remove the protective
clear plastic wrap clinging to the steaming culinary delight,
and utter "Homme affamé" (or perhaps "Swa-so"). |
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Perhaps [pertinax] though an enormous cloche, for use in a shared occupancy, mythical giant's
home would work - a simple Cloche of The Titans is doable. |
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[hippo] congratulations, I thought I'd take this in a different direction and mention some
research I've been doing on a peculiar group of hybrid boat/musical instrument builders resident
in North East Africa who operated an early form of musical greeting service (not unlike a
kissogram, but using river-going musical instruments) and how on one occasion they were
commissioned to greet and give cheer to a close-nit community of horologists who'd marooned
themselves in a bid to achieve a more aesthetic lifestyle. I'd give you more details, but I can't
find my Nile Gondola Cello Hello Clock Clique Castaway Hooray File. |
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Hey [whatrock] I've not come across either of those before - am I right in thinking "Homme affamé"
translates roughly to "hungry man"? I've no idea what swa-so translates to however. |
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<applause> - I enjoyed the build-up as much as the
pay-off |
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Swa-so: I imagine a Frenchman trying to say Swanson, the
TV dinner company. |
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[+] bun for your idea! Please pardon my poor humor. |
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