Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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It might be better to just get another gerbil.

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Virtual Car

less than a space-suit, more than a personal stereo
  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
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For one thing, the white of a traditional space-suit would pick up too much dirt from the train or the bus. For another thing, you can distinguish it from an actual space-suit by the words "I'm in my car." prominently displayed front and back.

In other respects, though, this Virtual Reality device does look a little like a space suit. We're talking quite lo-tech virtual reality. You have the big space-suit visor to remind you of tinted car windows. The temperature control works by controlling the actual temperature inside the suit, not by feeding pseudo-temperature feelings to your nerve-endings.

The breathing apparatus enables you to screen out the smell of your fellow-citizens, and that of last night's beer, as recycled through their bladders.

You become very deaf to requests for spare change.

The most obviously car-ish part comes when the motion-detectors in the suit detect that you've sped up, and pipe a satisfying engine-roar into your ears, or a screech when you corner sharply. When stuck in human traffic, you can lovingly polish the car-maker's logo, attached to the suit where the breast-pocket would be, if space-suits had breast-pockets.

Your road-rage becomes hilarious.

Your roller-skates gain a new lease of life.

TODO: not yet sure how you will drink your coffee, pick your nose, or have sex in the back seat.

pertinax, Apr 16 2007


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Annotation:







       Changed category, so as not to annoy real car people so much.
pertinax, Apr 17 2007
  

       You mean I should have mentioned the exhaust pipe?
pertinax, Apr 18 2007
  


 

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