h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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It's dangerous to look at the map on my phone.
I can have audio alerts, "turn left in 100 meters", but that
disrupts conversations.
I'd like to wear two wristbands, one on my right and one on
my left hand. The GPS app can then tell them to vibrate
when it wants me to turn left or right.
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I like the idea of silent, non-visual GPS instructions, but
needing two extra wrist bands seems like too much trouble.
Why not just make the smartphone vibrate in various
patterns? |
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This is a real halfbaked idea, which astonishingly, has already been done, in the form of Bluetooth Shoes. They are actually on the market right now, massively reduced in price because no one bought them because it's a ridiculous idea. |
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// live in Newham, East London // |
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There's your mistake, right there. |
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Fortunately, you don't need a phone, or even a map. A simple compass will suffice. Just keep moving, exercising appropriate caution, in a north-westerly direction, away from the sound of intermittent small-arms fire. |
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You can probably manage about 5kph on foot, so if you walk for about 10 hours, you'll be getting towards St. Albans. There, you may be able to procure rest and sustenance without being obliged to perform disgustingly perverted and deviant sexual acts as payment*, and it's probably safe to risk removing your kevlar, at least if you're indoors and the windows are covered. |
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All you need to do then is keep moving either West or North for a few more days, and eventually you'll reach civilization. |
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Do NOT head north-east. You will end up in Suffolk, where you will be eaten by the natives. |
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*Of course, it may well be that - being from london** - you actually enjoy participating in performing disgustingly perverted and deviant sexual acts, so this may be a good option for you. |
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** or work in Westminster, which is synonymous with being a vile, perverted sicko anyway. |
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That would be horrible, but it's safe enough if you travel at night; when you get to an area lacking paved roads and where artificial light is unkown, you're in Worcestershire. |
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Don't go any further west. |
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//Just keep moving, exercising appropriate caution, in a north-westerly direction// The biggest risk with that strategy is ending up in the north-west. |
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