h a l f b a k e r yI didn't say you were on to something, I said you were on something.
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Cooking spatulas always seem to be an unsatisfactory compromise in design; the angle between the "blade" and the handle often turns out to be non-optimal.
It is important to note that at different points in the cooking process, different angles are needed, depending on whether the implement is being
used for stirring, flipping, or extracting cooked items from the frying pan. It would also be useful to be able to extend the handle to avoid being splattered with hot fat.
BorgCo engineers have prototyped a suitable device. The blade is conventional (but interchangeable) and can be PTFE, PTFE-coated steel, or polished 316SS with a sharp edge. There are two joints in the handle, which is also telescopic.
The joints contain worm gears; rotating a band on the handgrip changes the angle of the joints between 0 and 90 degrees, thus the device can assume any form from a completely straight line to a "5" shape with two right angles. Two other rings allow the user to control the extension of the two telescopic sections of the shaft.
The whole unit is dishwasher safe, and the handle is ergonomically designed to allow the user to rapidly and accurately reposition the blade during the frying process.
Spatula etymology
https://www.etymonline.com/word/spatula
Mentioned in my anno [notexactly, Jul 20 2019]
'Boots' theory
https://www.goodrea...rich-vimes-reasoned
You know it makes sense. [8th of 7, Jul 21 2019]
proto-indo-european
https://en.wikipedi...o-European_language
spatula not included [pertinax, Jul 30 2019]
dronchitecture high rise building
by [teslaberry]. Mentioned in my anno [notexactly, Aug 20 2019]
[link]
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A slight mutation on this theme might be to attach
the shape of a "french curve" via a rotating link to
the spatula arm, such that you can adjust the amount
of curvature presented to the pan as per
requirements; So for stirring, you might want to
present a strongly curved, thin edge to the pan,
while for omelette-flipping, you might want to use a
much wider, more gently curving edge. |
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That could be offered as an option; would you like to be Assimilated into our product development team ? |
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I prefer contracting, but would consider assimilation
if there's a decent retirement plan. Bonus? Paid
holidays? |
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Many parts means many places for crud to collect (and,
being a cooking implement, it WILL collect...), so either
have it easy to disassemble (completely) for cleaning, or
have no telescopic bits and the joints "stiff" but moveable,
and all covered in a single piece of silicone rubber. |
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[neutrinos shadow] stiff joints with silicone rubber might be nudged just a little to be: gumby-like wire internally, with spring coils in little air spaces, and stretchable silly-putty like plastic with air-surrounded springs for the flippy spatula foot |
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// covered in a single piece of silicone rubber. // |
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You should ask Sturton about that - PVC, leather, rubber, he's a real enthusiast. |
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He's actually a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to fetishes. I
mean, rubber (technically, gutta percha) and leather yes; PVC not
so much. Spot of flagellation now and again, obvs (public school).
Feet - very much *not* his cup of tea; in fact his last
advertisement for a PA specified "footlessness an asset". Didn't
get many applicants; settled for a Greek lady with one leg but
fired her when it turned out she had two feet. He's also got a
thing about chipmunks - don't ask. I mean, really, just never ever
ask. And he has an internationally-known collection of Hawaiian
pano-a't'hui-hui which he says are for research purposes only. |
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I had to look most of that up, but you're clearly an
expert with a deep knowledge of this type of
activity. This must have required considerable
close observation. |
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The force needed to change the utensils shape will always have to be more than the force the spatula is applied in use, or else there will be a lot of refunds. |
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If you make a commercial for this, demonstrating it in a
fake
studio kitchen yelling at the camera the whole time I'll buy
this. |
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Apparently it comes from the Latin word "spatula", meaning
"spatula". [link] |
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So the word "spatula" is derived from the latin word
"spatula" meaning "spatula"? |
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So it would seem. It's all rather sinister, to be honest; the Vatican are probably behind it - they use a lot of latin words. |
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Of course, a cooking spatula is a major plot device in the well-known conspiracy-theory novel "The Da Vinci Cod", so it all makes sense, in a dark, twisted way. |
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// Latin word "spatula", meaning "spatula" // |
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Huh. Etymonline is normally pretty good about these things. |
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I would guess that the origin is a metaphasis of the latin word scapula, which originally referred to a towel or spade. Shoulder blades came later, named either because of their visual similarity to a spade, or possibly because in ancient times animal scapulas were used as such. I believe that "scalpel" has a very similar word origin. |
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// I believe that "scalpel" has a very similar word origin. // |
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<Considers [mit]'s probable level of credulity/> |
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Hey, [mit], would you like to make lots and lots of money with no effort at all ? We have a wonderful scheme we're sure you'll want to sign up for ... but hurry, applications are limited ! |
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I can't really work up any enthusiasm for this idea. I am
pretty sure this purported device would function for about,
oh, 18 hours before suffering some terminal failure. |
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If you're serious about frying, you will already possess a
wide range of spatulae, each adapted to its task and honed
from an appropriate grade of steel by a traditional
spatulista. A true afficionado will own no fewer than
fifteen spatulae, ranging from the humble, versatile and
invaluable egg flipper to the immense and weighty dover
sole spatula. Anyone with even a passing interest in
international cuisine will of course have a couple of sizes of
spatola per cipolle, a tóu sháo zhújiàn, an amerika o
mawasu, and of course an authentic Javanese sayur-
sayuran. |
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//about, oh, 18 hours before suffering some terminal failure// |
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Is that a problem? This morning at about 9:30 I started using a $4 umbrella
for the second time; it came apart at about 12:30 PM, only about a half hour
before I finished needing it. It seems, however, to have served its purpose,
which was the extraction of my $4. |
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Actually, more than $4, because you'll have to replace the umbrella. In fact, you're now trapped in a vicious circle of umbrella purchasing as each successive umbrella fails in a predictable way; and there's the associated problem of umbrella disposal. |
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This actually sounds remarkably like Captain Vimes' "Boots" theory of economic inequality. <link> |
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^ and don't forget the HGTTG shoe event horizon example that states the depression included with that failing umbrella. |
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I like it, but for best results it should be motorised.
Specifically, the spatula should reciprocate. |
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I'd never considered this before, but we're severely
lacking in Greek and Latin etymologists. It's all
very well tracing the root of a word back to some
classical language, but where did *they* get it from? |
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Ideally, we should be able to trace these things
right back to the very earliest homo loquiturus. |
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"Alright, let’s start with the basics. English is a non-inflected
Indo-European language derived from dialects of…." |
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The choice of materials and the design of the joints are engineered to produce maximum stiffness; if flexibility is required, this will be designed in as a user-controlled function. |
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//flexibility//
Run small capillaries inside the "head"; in normal operation,
the head is flexible (as per your ordinary plastic spatula) but
if you squeeze the handle, it forces fluid into the capillaries,
stiffening the head. |
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// I'd never considered this before, but we're severely
lacking in Greek and Latin etymologists. It's all very well
tracing the root of a word back to some classical
language,
but where did *they* get it from? // |
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Well, appropriately for the topic of spatulas, the word
"etymology" comes directly from ancient
Greek, so they must have had etymologists back then.
Maybe some of their writings have survived, and have
been
waiting unread in some museum storage room since being
found. |
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// Scraping sauce with a springy utensil and it suddenly
turns into a
splatula. // |
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Reminds me of that "dronchitecture" idea from several
years ago, where a
building has drones to carry people between
levels/offices on the outside
rather than elevators on the inside, and how I said that
when it rains, it'll
become drenchitecture. I can't find it now—maybe that
was why it was
deleted. |
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Edit: It wasn't deleted; I just wasn't looking for it correctly. See
[link] |
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"Spatula" looks like a diminutive to me. If it *is* a diminutive, it's
probably a diminutive of "spatha", which is found in late-imperial
Latin as a word for a kind of sword, which sometimes had a
rounded end (because it was meant for slashing from
horseback, not stabbing). The "h" could easily have dropped out,
because aspirated consonants in Latin were often just half-
hearted attempts to sound more Greek (and therefore
sophisticated). |
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Hence, "spatula" - "like a round-ended sword, but smaller". |
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In late texts, we also find "spatharius", meaning aide-de-camp,
from which we may imagine the unattested "spatularius" as the
job-title of one of those thankless "food technicians" who do the
actual cooking for celebrity chefs (I'm told). |
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Oh, good insights there! I noticed a while back that your
username seems to come from Latin, too, so I guess it's a
language you're familiar with? |
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Don't jump to conclusions, [not]; it may be a reference to Sir Pertinax Surly, a character in "The Alchemist" by Ben Jonson. |
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