Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Vacuum Cleaner Exhaust Outlet Woodwind Instrument

Valves sequentially open various holes on the tube to play tunes like a flute.
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Wouldn't need anything fancy, you'd have a little turbine upwind turning a cam shaft that has spokes at various points to open and close the keys as it passes under them.

Plays Whistle While You Work maybe. Might swap cam shafts to play different tunes.

ADDENDUM: Not just one exhaust flute, at least 3 to play chords like a pipe organ or bagpipes!

doctorremulac3, Apr 03 2025

I regret that this idea is engraved on my memory. Sex_20Trombone_20-_...nt_20People_20thing
Idea courtesy of JesusHChrist. I think it's all in the delivery. [Loris, Apr 03 2025]

Also. Regular_20Old_20Sex_20Trombone
[Loris, Apr 03 2025]

Pipe Organ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pipe_organ
[Voice, Apr 03 2025]

[link]






       This is merely the electric bagpipes
pocmloc, Apr 03 2025
  

       Wait, oh yea, doesn't need to be one note.   

       Chords! Adding that, thanks.
doctorremulac3, Apr 03 2025
  
      
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