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I watched from cover as the troops made their move, in
short dashes from doorway to doorway. They were
obviously professionals.
The coffee shop was full of hipsters, men with
impressive,
oiled beards and recycled clothes; women in flannel
shirts
and ripped jeans and fake 1950s glasses.
Their children
were all dressed in cute, faded denim dungarees and tiny
hiking boots. We had hit the jackpot.
On the sergeant's signal, the men fired baton rounds
first...
inert rubbery pellets about the size of D cell batteries,
breaking the windows and allowing the men a clear field
of
fire.
The next volley was an almost silent flight of tiny,
winged darts, each carrying a polyvalent vaccine
payload. The empty box at my feet said it covered
measles, pertussis, rubella, mumps, polio, chickenpox
and a number of other potentially deadly viruses.
Two more volleys and it was done. The troops moved in,
gathered up their spent syringes, handed out packets of
jellybeans and gummy bears and exfiltrated quickly,
melting into the shadows and piling back into their cargo
van, which was disguised as a mobile barista training
school.
I glanced at the monitor behind the driver's seat. We
had three more hotspots to clean up before lunchtime;
including a small homeschoolers' convention.
Hipster Anti-vaxxers
https://www.patheos...d-measles-outbreak/
About 5 paragraphs down [UnaBubba, Apr 03 2019]
https://www.google....8i13i30.eS-2wjvCPQY
[hippo, Apr 03 2019]
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Annotation:
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Hey, [Ubie]! Welcome back! |
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Wecome back! But surely it's not the hipsters who are anti-vaxxers? - I thought they were all tech-savvy web designers. You need to be at the Gong Bath Workshop next door. |
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That may be true, [hippo], but state legislators believe the
problem is hipsters, so they're the first demographic to get
darted. [link] |
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Dear gods, [hippo]. I just Googled "gong bath" and learned
that "Scientific evidence suggests that certain forms of sound
therapy prompt damaged human DNA strands to repair
themselves. " Is there no end to how stupid some people can
be? Take 'em for every penny they've got, say I. |
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Interesting - what do they mean by "scientific evidence" in this case? (also, scary link added) |
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I would guess that "scientific evidence" does not mean "peer-
reviewed, empirical evidence" in that instance. |
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Regarding the anti-vaccinators, if we can't bring ourselves to
coerce them, perhaps we could incentivise them. Just bring
along some aerosolized measles, polio and rubella to school
assembly a couple of weeks after vaccination. |
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Hello again UnaBubba. It's good to see you back. |
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So who pays for the broken windows and negligence claims?
And how do you avoid vaccinating those who can't be safely
vaccinated - for example, those with an egg allergy or
impaired immune system? |
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Only one or two people in every hundred fall into those
categories. So you just vaccinate 98 people, wait a bit, go on
to the next 98 etc. |
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Don't forget to trim their ears so they aren't vaccinated more than once during any given period. |
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Just a "null symbol" tattoo on the ear, [FT], which serves a
dual purpose if they look likely to breed more unvaccinated
feral sprogs. |
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They can be sterilised at the same time. |
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